Send all subscription and unsubscribe requests to

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Electric Dreams

Volume 3 Issue #1

25 January 1996

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Electric Dreams on Web:

http://www.phys.unsw.edu.au/~mettw/edreams/home.html

-- Send dreams and comments on dream to:

Bob Krumhansl <bobk829887@aol.com>.

--Send general comments, replies and articles to:

Richard Wilkerson: <rcwilk@aol.com>

--For back issues and other access see

ELECTRIC DREAMS ACCESS INFORMATION AT BOTTOM

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CONTENTS OF THIS ISSUE:

Notes from the Editors

-Richard's notes

-Dream Group starting

-Mail list now working

-Winter Thoughts - The Long and The Short of It -

by Bob Krumhansl

Questions, Answers, Comments, Requests

Response to Taylor Kingsley's Dream Journeys Part II (EDV2n14) by Jay

Dream Studio Schedule

DreamLine: The Changing Family - by Christopher Hicks

Dream Requests- Environmental Dreams - C.H.

Twelve Tips for Improving Dream Recall - by Rick Bouchard

A Few Words About Journaling - by Rick Bouchard

The |Dream Part of our Journey - About Rick Bouchard

Finding a Happier Sex Life Through Dreams (Part I)- Tony Crisp

Index To Dreams & Dream Commentary Sequence for EDv3n1

(Following the Title is the author and the date of the

dream/commentary or submission - in the format of

Year-Month-Day/YYMMDD)

NEW DREAMS:

Dream: "The Big Interview" by Blair (950228)

Commentary by Blair on "The Big Interview" (950228)

Dream: "Telling The Truth" by Blair (950225)

Dream: "Tennis In A Restaurant" by Ziggy(960114)

Dream: "Back To School" by Richard(960105)

Commentary on "Back To School" by Marian (960110)

Commentary on "Back To School" by Nutcracker (960111)

Commentary on "Back To School" by Narcissus (960112)

Commentary on "Back To School" by Kitty B (960113) <Numerology>

Dream: "At The Beach" by Pam (960113)

Dream: "Time Traveling" by Pam (960113)

Dream: "[Some Sort Of Prison]" by John J (960107)

Dream: "[MIT Class 2.70 Stuff in Outdoor Cafeteria]" by John J (960107)

Commentary on "...Outdoor Cafeteria" by Nutcracker (960107)

Dream: "[Family Dinner - Father's Side Of The Family]" by John J (960104)

Dream: "[Driving With 3 Children]" by Kittie B (960108)

Dream: "[Vapor Trails]" by Kittie B (960108)

Dream: "[Captive Execution]" by Kittie B. (960108)

Dream: "Lithuanian Monk" by Kenneth (960103)

Commentary on "Lithuanian Monk" by Kenneth (960103)

Commentary on "Lithuanian Monk" by Nutcracker (960115)

Commentary on "Lithuanian Monk" by Bob C (960115)

Dream: "Shooting A Book" by Kenneth (960112)

Commentary on "Shooting A Book" by Kenneth (960112)

Commentary on "Shooting A Book" by Nutcracker (960115)

Commentary on "Shooting A Book" by Bob C (960118)

Dream: "[Standing On A Moving Bus In Lima]" by John J (960115)

Dream: "[Julia]" by John J (960115)

Commentary on "Julia" by Bob C (960115)

Dream: "A Girl From Spain" by Rob (960119)

Dream: "The Good Shepard" by Shadow (960103)

Dream: "Trouble Under The Mall" by Shadow (960120)

Dream: "Deranged Derailment" by Shadow (960120)

Dream: "Le Woodchuck" by Shadow (960120)

Dream: "Me and My Younger Shadow" by Shadow (960120)

Dream: "Overnighting" by Kenneth (960117)

Commentary on "Overnighting" by Kenneth (960117)

Dream: "She-Bear" by Kenneth (960118)

Commentary on "She-Bear" by Kenneth (960118)

Dream: "T.H.Lawrence" by Kenneth (960103)

Commentary on "T.H.Lawrence" by Kenneth (960103)

Dream : "Scourge of my planet" by JJ (960124)

Dream : "Huecos" by JJ (960124)

NUTCRACKER SUITE V:

Dream: "You Never Have A Chainsaw When You Need One" by

Nutcraker (960103)

Dream: "The Secret Place"by Nutcraker (960103)

Dream: "The Happy Meal Prize" by Nutcraker (960103)

Dream: "The Lido" by Nutcraker (960103)

Dream: "Gang Banger" by Nutcraker (951228)

Dream: "Why?" by Nutcraker (951228)

Dream: "The Interloper" by Nutcraker (960104"

Dream: "Church Is Now Open For Business" by Nutcraker (960104)

Dream: "AHS" by Nutcraker (9601080) <Recurring Dream>

Dream: "Bullets And Calendar Boys" by Nutcraker (960108)

Dream: "9 Out Of 10 Dentists Recommend..." by Nutcraker (960108)

Dream: "Encroachment" by Nutcraker (960109)

Dream: "Friend or Foe" by Nutcraker (960109)

Dream: "The Block House" by Nutcraker (960109)

Dream: "More Mayhem - Pt 3" by Nutcracker (960109)

Dream: "Rock 'N Roll" by Nutcracker (960109)

Dream: "The Favor" by Nutcracker (960109)

Dream: "Does This Street Go To?" by Nutcracker (960110)

Dream: "Bookshelf Of Ideas" by Nutcracker (960111)

Dream: "Be Still My Heart" by Nutcracker (960112)

Dream: "Nice Of You To Offer, But..." by Nutcracker (960112)

Dream: "Dance Fever" by Nutcracker (960112)

Dream: "Let Go Of My Disk" by Nutcracker (960112)

Dream: "The Infestation" by Nutcracker (960113)

Dream: "I Don't Need No Stinkin' SCUBA Gear" by Nutcracker (960114)

Dream: "Le Gay Vampire" by Nutcracker (960114)

Dream: "Hair Lost" by Nutcracker (960115)

Dream: "The Van" by Nutcracker (960116)

Dream: "The Lottery Ticket" by Nutcracker (960116)

Dream: "Place Your Bet" by Nutcracker (960116)

Dream: "Discombobulated" by Nutcracker (960117)

QUOTES: Food For On Dreaming ...gathered by Nutcracker

Adios!

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EDITORS' NOTES

Besides our wonderful dreams which Bob K. has generously tended and will tell you about, we have a few delightful

articles, some news and research requests from some of our generous subscribers. Christopher Hicks continues his

investigation and exploration into the realm between personal and social space with his column on dreams of social

issues. See what our dreams have to say in his article on the Changing Family. Rick Bouchard is visiting with us this

issue and offering us some recall skills and dream journaling enhancement techniques from his larger Dream Journey

Project. It used to be that the metaphor of animal passion meant unbridled lust, but more recent studies on animals show

them to exhibit a wide range of caring relationships. In the first of a two part series, Tony Crisp uses dreaming to

examining and explore some new metaphors in Finding a Happier Sex Life Through Dreams.

A note on the new Electric Dreams Mail list - While anyone may comment or send in dreams, we do now have available

a mail list for those who like to comment on the dreams before publication. You are also welcome to use the mail list to

discuss the dreams and topics on dreaming. To join the list, simply send an e-mail

To: majordomo@igc.apc.org

Subject: sub me (or anything, its automatic)

In body of e-mail put ;

subscribe ed-core

And that's it. In a few minutes you will get back a note that the subscription has worked and the address to send all

dreams and comments. Richard

=========================================================

DREAM GROUP - We are starting another online e-mail dream group in about a week or two. If you are interested in

participating, drop me a line. rcwilk@aol.com

=========================================================

Winter Thoughts - The Long and The Short of It - by Bob Krumhansl

Welcome to the first 1996 edition of Electric Dreams - Volume 3 begins! As those affected by the Blizzard of '96 get

back into the usual swing of things, a hearty hello goes to all the new readers and a fond greeting goes to all the regular

subscribers. Special thanks once again to the dream contributors , dream commentators and dream knowledge sharers.

Anyone can send in a dream and anyone can contribute their insight and commentary on the dream offerings in Electric

Dreams - The E-zine. The shared dreams help us all grow in our insight into the human condition, heighten our

perception of how we see things different or similar to others, and presents us with a preview of some of the challenges

we all might face in the course of a lifetime. My contribution for now is to gather up the seeds, plant them , and nurture

them ever so slightly, so that they may bear fruit in each of your lives.

This is a purely voluntary effort with no particular perspective to push except for openness and sharing - and the hope

for growth and wisdom that it brings to the participants. At the same time, as stated elsewhere in the issue, no attempt

is being made to offer medical advice or practice any form of Psychology or Psychotherapy - two fields which work

professionally with dreamers and their dreams regardless of the nomenclature used to couch dream commentary. Those

seeking medical advice should seek it elsewhere, notwithstanding the insight offered by the dream commentators.

Dream Interpretation is a term which should be just as acceptable as Dream Commentary or Dream Appreciation, but

sometimes carries a connotation of exclusive professional mastery . Try telling Joseph from the Bible that he was not

authorized to interpret dreams or telling the Pharaoh that Joseph didn't know what he was talking about. (If you've

never seen "Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat" by Anthony Lloyd Webber , try to if you ever get a

chance. - if you enjoy Dreams, you will enjoy this musical)

It's certainly absurd to presume that dreamers themselves are unqualified to interpret their own dreams. Sometimes it's

hard to see the big picture when you are in the middle of the forest or event, but certainly no one knows better than the

dreamer how the issues presented and how the paths addressed best fit their current or past conditions. This issue has

several "self"commentaries. Note the dream, the self commentary and the independent commentaries (made without

knowledge of the self commentary). Each dream stands on it's own and like stories, movies, and songs, can mean

different things to different people in the light of varied experiences. Like the shared light from a candle which spreads

and grows without being any less itself, dream sharing helps us all see better and understand more clearly those mysteries

of the sleeping self.

A couple comments have been received about the size (length) of recent Electric Dreams issues. It has been the policy

to date (as far as I am aware) to publish everything that is sent to us in the spirit of sharing all points of view. The

editing is really minimal, more an issue of formatting and organizing than correcting or deleting. I have not encountered

any gratuitous tastelessness or generic abuse of any kind here yet, though dreams can certainly take turns in that

direction for any individual. A bridge we will cross when we reach it is how I intend to address that issue. Now back to

length issues. Apparently the size of the issues is quite time consuming to print out on some printers, and has become an

inconvenience of sorts. How long is long enough? How much love is enough? How much money is enough? It's really

different for every person. With the costs of publication - printing and paper charges- not an issue for the publishers,

the electronic medium presents some new challenges. We can expand the margins. We could reduce the fonts if

distributed in non-ASCII format, but then readers will need the right program or converter. We can publish more

frequently (boy, it sure seems like each month gets shorter

and shorter since taking this editor function!) We can set a maximum size per issue, and determine what material makes

the cut for each issue depending on the focus of the issue or qualities of the dreams. We can keep some of the

contributions "on file" for later publication, but that takes away some of the dynamics and relatively prompt feedback we

offer now. Choices, choices, choices! What do you think?

One avenue for cutting down the paper problem is reading it online, but I for one can't carry the computer everywhere I

go to take advantage of the right moment and enjoy, highlight and scribble comments on the various articles. You could

just "Save To File" only those sections you want to keep, and print out those (Horror! What am I saying? - Don't even

think about it!!!) Another approach is using a print utility program like the DOS program LJBOOK (shareware - check

for updated versions or similar products on your favorite BBS, WebSite like C-Net Central or Online Service) which will

print four pages to a page on Laserjet printers (two on the front and two on the back, organizing them in the proper

sequence for the "booklet') or the commercial windows program CLIKBOOK (around $50) which offers numerous

variations ranging from four pages per page to eight pages per page (but take out your magnifying glasses) and acts like

a windows print driver. High end Word Processors allow you to alter the font size and manipulate the margins, but

that's not as simple as it appears to be. I speak from experience. Hope this helps some of you. I've been printing 4 per

page since I found out about Electric Dreams.

Dreams are in some way like snow in that each snowflake has its special individual pattern even though on the surface it

all looks the same when it magically appears under the proper circumstances. Individuals have differing reactions to it.

It lasts longer and comes faster in some areas (Nutcracker are you there?) than others, and some places never get snow

at all (non dream recallers?) Some snow falls are light and quickly dissipate, others are heavy and make a significant

impact on lives. Sometimes the disruptions are temporary and focus our attention on a specific area of our lives, other

times the disruptions help us make clearer long term decisions. Sometimes it's gone as it hits the ground. It's pretty to

observe from a distance and provides new recreational opportunities, but you need to shovel out a path when it gets too

high, and rely on plow trucks and salt to clear the road, as well as time...and the Sun. Nature is sure magnificent.

Enjoy this dream laden issue as well as the rest of this winter

Bob K.

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QUESTIONS, ANSWERS, COMMENTS, REQUESTS

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Dream Studio Schedule - On Compuserve's New Age Forum B Monday

Monday, Jan 29: Mutual Dreaming

==========================================================

AUTHOR'S QUERY

Have you ever had a mystical--or intensely vivid

spiritual dream (in any time of your life)- -that gave you new insights,

inspiration, creative energy, or important life-direction? As a

psychologist-author, I'd be interested to hear from you. My book

VISIONS OF INNOCENCE (Shambhala/ Random House) has a chapter

on such dreams during childhood, and their lifelong impact on our lives. Please post or send me e-mail.

Thanks! Dr. Ed Hoffman

<zohar4time@aol.com>

==================================

DREAMS AND WHALES in CYBERSPACE

Sarah Strachan has offered up a dream tryptic on whales and dream. A graphical delight as well from her collage

collection, Sarah's dreams and whale are a delight to behold.

Sarah Strachan's home page URL:

http://www.cea.edu/sarah/

================================================

CYBERDREAMING NEWS - SAN FRANCISCO DREAMING!

The Association for the Study of Dreams and the California Institute of Integral Studies Present

Dreams, Spirit and Shadow

February 16-17, 1996

Bogzaran, Bulkeley, the Coburns, Deslauriers, Garfield, Krippner, Laberge, Magallòn, Siegel, Taylor and others

A Regional Meeting of the Association for the Study of

Dreams.

Spiritual seekers across cultures have turned to their dreams for inspiration in their innermost quest. Powerful dreams

offer a direct and intimate gateway to our spiritual self. Thus, cultivating dreams brings us in touch with the numinous in

all its manifestations. This includes both light and shadow aspects. As Jung once wrote, "It can be expected that we are

going to contact spheres of a not yet transformed God when our consciousness extend into the sphere of the

unconscious."

LOCATION: CIIS, 765 ASHBURY STREET, San Francisco CA, USA 94117

Cost: Friday evening public lecture, $10, $8 (students)

Entire Workshop (including Friday evening public lecture),

$100

REGISTRATION: CIIS, Public Program, (415) 753-6100, ext.

241.

ASD Contact Person:

Daniel Deslauriers, Ph.D.,

East-West Psychology

CIIS, (415) 753-6100 ext. 157

**If you say you saw this on Internet or GD news when you register, you will receive a "Dream Guide to Internet" at

the registration table! **

(Source: Daniel Deslauriers)

This conference file is also available on the Web

at Dan Cummings site:

http://www.itp.tsoa.nyu.edu/~windeatr/

asdregionalconf.html

If you mention at the registration desk that you saw this on the Net, you will be receive a *free* guide to dreaming on

the Net.

=========================================

How about Joining Electric Dream as the Questions & Answers Editor?

We would really like to develop this area and perhaps expand it also to include dialogue about hot topic in dreams and

dreaming. Our work is the labor of love and I'm afraid there is no salary attached to this position, but its a great chance

to plug into the dream community, meet with famous dream workers and researchers and help bring the online dream

community to a new level of interactivity. If interested, drop me a line - Richard rcwilk@aol.com

==================================================

Response to taylor kingsley's dreamjourneys part ii

From: Jay

response to taylor kingsley's dreamjourneys part ii

in electric dreams 2.14 - 11/30/95

I am looking forward to taylor's next column when we will, perhaps, hear her shamanic initiation dream, whose picture

was on the candle, and what happened after the anti hecate dream.

if the anti hecate dream were mine at this time in my life...

I would feel it was about meeting parts of myself I am very fearful of and trying to deny and repress. I would want to

prevent being overwhelmed by these aspects, but would also want to get to know and understand these aspects better.

thereby to integrate them. then I would not have to depend on the availability of white lights to protect me.

end of dream interpretation

in general, as a result of my life experiences so far, I am one who would currently interpret dreamjourney dreams more

along the lines of dreams integrating new insights about life rather than manifestations of other worlds. perhaps with

time, I will come to view things in a different manor.

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ARTICLES AND COLUMNS ON DREAMING

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<==============Dream Line==============>

The Changing Family

A black and white scene:

A low-rider Monte Carlo speeds down a narrow residential street in the harshest of urban ghettos. As it approaches a

small white, well kept house the "tat-tat-tat-tat-tat" of automatic gun fire can be heard. From within the car two fully

automatic micro-uzi's spray the home with deadly bullets. Three children in the yard are struck down by these small

projectiles. A woman runs from within the house only to see her children lying in the yard. She looks to the street.

The car, speeding away, is driven by Ward Cleaver. The gunman, Beaver and his younger adopted brother, who just

happens to be in a gang, are now shooting at parked cars. Isn't it nice of Ward to Chaperon them on their drive-by

shooting?

The family serves many purposes that range from raising children to providing an emotional home, or foundation for its

members. Family is such an integral part of the human condition that its existence is represented in that mysterious

realm that Jung referred to as the Collective Unconscious. Yet here, on the brink of the new century, the traditional

ideas of family are becoming a thing of the past. For many, the modern archetypes of the working father and

stay-at-home mother are nothing more than stories told by grandparents. The most common replacements are the

single-parent and two-income households. Such dramatic changes must effect us both as individuals and as a society.

On an individual level adjusting to the new faces of our families can cause intense emotional stress and conflict. It is

entirely natural for these to cross from the waking-world into our dreams. In the responses to the request for dreams of

family I find not a single dreamer from a traditional family. What I do find is a dynamic group of dreams that illustrates

the unchanging responsibilities of families, the pain that results from dysfunctional family systems, and the struggle of

our dream- selves to accept and understand the passing away of the traditional family. One series of dreams, from a

dreamer whose mother raised the children on her own after the father had left, is filled with images of the dreamer's

mother and siblings in roles of guides and friends. Another dream finds the dreamer flying through a solar system of

planets with two stars at their center. The dreamer shares comments that, upon awakening from this dream, she felt it

was symbolic of her family, where both her mother and father have to work at full-time jobs just to provide for the

family. It seems that, from a subjective viewpoint, our dream-selves, while acknowledging the changes in structure,

point toward the fact that the roles of the family have not changed.

What of the more objective Dreamtime perspective that stems from somewhere deeper in the human psyche? In

reviewing the dreams received for this column I find many occurrences that can be interpreted as attempts at reconciling

the idea of the traditional family and the changing family of our modern society. In some dreams, confrontations

between the dreamer and archetypes, who can be interpreted as representing family members of the dreamers who have

not fulfilled their responsibilities, explode in action and emotion. One example of this can be seen in a dream where the

dreamer is exchanging deadly lightning bolts with God (complete with long, flowing white hair and full beard) on the

playground of the dreamer's childhood elementary school. In comments that accompanied the dream the dreamer shares

that her father had left her family's household during her childhood. He did not just leave the household, but ceased to

be part of her life at all after that. With this knowledge the dream battle with God can be seen as a vivid illustration of

the dreamer's remaining anger toward her father and an attempt at reconciling her father with the idea of a traditional

father.

In another dream the dreamer is in a large office building where he works. It is after hours and the place is empty except

for a cleaning woman who turns out to be the dreamer's mother. She smiles at the dreamer as she works. As she

continues to work the dreamer watches her transform into a man wearing a business suit. This man looks at the dreamer

with contempt. The dream progresses with this character transforming back and forth several times; each time retaining

a few more qualities of both the mother and the business man. Finally the dream character approaches the dreamer. The

mother/business man hugs the dreamer and then hands him an over-sized check (the dreamer cannot recall the amount).

After corresponding with the dreamer, who is a single-parent, I find that he looks at this dream as a reminder that the

balance of providing both financial and emotional support to children is especially difficult for single-parents. He also

admits to a degree of contempt toward his children in that he must invest so much more time in work to provide for

them. This dream can also be viewed from the larger perspective of a blending of the dreamer's anima, to use another of

Jung's terms, in the context of our modern, monetary-oriented and driven society.

Keeping one foot in the Dreamtime let us turn back to the waking- world. The structures of families are changing, but

their underlying roles are the same. In some cases the changing families continue to provide for the needs of their

members. However, all too often, the changes lead to a dysfunctional system. Unfortunately this leads to more than

disturbing or unsettling dreams. In the best cases the family's members, not having a good model to work toward, end

up with their own dysfunction system, which perpetuates this unhealthy cycle. In the worst cases the children of the

families suffer physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse. Many of these children turn to the surrogate families provided

by urban gangs that instill twisted morals and tendencies toward violent behavior.

The traditional family may not be dead, but it is certainly on the endangered species list. In its place is not some empty

void, but a diverse range on family systems, some of which push the outer limits of what is considered family. It would

be so wonderful for all of us if every one of these new families was healthy and adaptive, but only a fool could think this

to be true. Our dreams do not turn away from this terribly complex issue, but embrace it with all the magic and

symbolism that is their very essence.

Yet, all the magic and symbolism in all of our dream-worlds combined is nothing more than food for thought unless we

can use it to move toward some positive actions. On an individual level we can each be open to what our dreams show

us about our own families. Everyone is part of a family in some way or another. And along with membership comes

certain responsibilities. The financial aspects are very concrete. In order to provide shelter and food one must have

money, which necessitates working in some form or fashion. The emotional aspects, on the other hand, are more

abstract and in greater danger of becoming clouded.

In looking back at the dream examples one sees the emotional responsibilities of the family are most prominent, both

where the changing families have been successful at meeting them and where they have not. Our dreams have flagged an

area to be aware of here! We can actively search our dreams for images and situations that might reflect whether or not

we are meeting our emotional responsibilities as parents, siblings, spouses, and children. Where we find that we are

lacking we can strive to grow!

But what of society, the larger family? How can our dreams guide us here? Families are changing. Many are failing to

meet their responsibilities during and after these changes. Because the smaller family units are failing we have members

of our society that are not well adapted or productive, which contributes to the many social problems that exist. So, by

working in the context of our own families we are, in effect, working on a societal scale. In addition to using our

dreams to work on growing in the roles of our own families we can emphasize the importance of family by sharing our

"family dreams" with people around us (family, friends, co-workers), thus increasing others' awareness of their own

families. This, too, will contribute to positive growth on a larger scale.

Both of the above examples work rather indirectly on the societal family. There are many actions we can take that may

have more direct effects. We can seek out and volunteer time to programs in our communities that promote healthy

families. In many communities there are support groups for single-parents. These types of programs help, not only to

give support, but also provide a non-threatening environment in which to learn how to become better parents. Of

course, there are also many programs that provide support and guidance for the children. A well known example of one

such program is the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program, which provides surrogate male/female role models to children

whose families, for whatever reason, do not have such role models.

The examples above are just that. I encourage all of us to use the unique perspectives that come to us only in our

dreams as tools to better ourselves, our families, and our world. If more people looked from their dreams into the

waking-world and said, "Yeah, that could work!", this waking-world would be a much better place!

--Christopher Hicks

email: shadow45@netonecom.net

<=======================================================>

DREAMLINE REQUEST: Environmental Dreams

Every few months we are reminded of the constant assault on our environment by the news media. Stories of toxic

waste sites, forest fires, deforestation, etc. are frequently seen on local, national, and global levels.

So, I am requesting dreams related to any environmental issue (big or small)! As usual comments and opinions are also

welcomed.

A reminder:

All material sent in response to this request may, or may not be used in the Dream Line column, which appears in the e-

zine Electric Dreams. Material may be partially quoted or paraphrased. Contributor's identities will remain anonymous.

Dream Line is a "labor of love", meaning I receive no monetary compensation for writing it. Before reprinting Dream

Line in another forum or using any of the contributed material in another work I will request permission from

contributors to do so.

Thank You,

Christopher Hicks (aka Shadow)

Email: shadow45@netonecom.net

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Twelve Tips for Improving Dream Recall

by Rick Bouchard-

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1. Develop a relationship with your "unconscious." When you tell your unconscious ("psyche") that you want to hear

what it has to say......it speaks! Sometimes, a simple interest in the dream world will stim u late dream recall.

2. Go to bed early. Getting a full night's sleep and having a clear head in the morning will help with dream recall. 3.

Before going to sleep, affirm: "Tonight, I will remember a dream..."

4. Have a paper, a pen, and a subtle light by your bed. This minimizes the obstacles you may ex pe ri ence upon

waking to record, minimizes the movements you must make, and makes the job easier. A subtle light will not fully

wake you.

5. Let yourself wake up in the middle of the night. Drink extra water, the night before, to assure that you will have to

get up in the middle of the night, where you can often catch your self dream ing.

6. Set aside quiet time between "waking up" and "getting up." Savor the twilight,...that space one teeters between

when they are half awake and half asleep.

7. No alarm clocks. Alarm clocks can decrease recall be cause they allow you no "twilight time." You are suddenly

thrust into an awake state. Instead, try going to bed earlier so you wake up and savor that quiet time be fore the alarm

does go off. Meanwhile, hope ful ly, memories of the dream images will sur face in your silence.

8. Do not move upon awakening. Dreams are best recalled by lying still and letting the dream images surface. Ask

"psyche" to let what ev er you dreamt come to your conscious mind.

9. Record just a key work or an image. If you can't remember the whole dream, write down a fragment, a mood, a

feeling. You can cer tain ly discover mean ing in dream snip pets and fragments.

10. Tell your dream to a trusted other or a dream part ner. Saying them out loud can make them feel more real and can

bring on an "aha!" (that light that goes on when we realize some thing). As au thor Jeremy Taylor says, this ("aha") is

a reliable touch stone of whether or not you are onto an ac cu rate interpretation. You

are the only one who can say for sure what a dream means for you.

11. Tape recording dreams can help you get closer to the experience and feelings you had when you actually had the

dream. It reflects back to you what you sounded like, and perhaps were feeling, (in the mid dle of the night) as you re

cord ed the dream.

12. Experiment with how you remember, record, analyze, and explore your dreams; try drawing, poetry, clay, and so

on. Weave them into your day. Dreams can be the source of much inspiration, wisdom, and joy.

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A Few Words About Journaling

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1. Date your entry. This can help you later make con nec tions between your dreams and the events in your life.

2. Title your dreams. This can help in cataloging and, later, in locating dreams. Also, "where" you get the title tends

to be from the same creative, inner place that the dream comes from. Pay attention to this!

3. Write the dream in a journal in the present tense. This allows you to reserve the past tense for when it really happens

in the dream (e.g., I am walking down the street and suddenly recognize a wom an I once worked with). Writing the

dream in the present tense also allows you to experience more closely and acutely the feelings you were actually having

when you had the dream.

4. Lastly, at the bottom of the page, make a few notes about what is going on in your life at the time. This can help

you later see patterns.

5. Choose a journal that meets your needs; this will make journaling a more pleasurable experience! For example, I

find a journal that lies flat, has pages that can be re moved and later reinserted, has pag es that will not al low ink to

bleed through to the other side, and, which has a hard back for support is most in line with my needs as a dream

journaler.

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Rick Bouchard, as the director of the Dream Part of Our Journey, attends workshops at the C.G. Jung Center in

Brunswick, the C.G. Jung Institute in Boston, the C.G. Jung Foundation in New York City; he is also a truth seeker

within Unity Church of Greater Portland in Windham, Maine.

According to Bouchard, "My approach is Jungian, feminist, systemic, and homeopathic." He places a strong emphasis

on spirituality in his practice.

The Dream Part of Our Journey Mission statement reads:

'Acknowledging there are many paths to enlightenment, "The Dream Part of Our Journey seeks to illuminate and

offer dream theory, tools and techniques for working with dreams, and a forum for the feelings that arise during

dreamwork through ongoing groups, workshops, and classes." '

PHILOSOPHY:

As facilitator, I see myself as teacher, support, and spiritual guide. The leader and group members offer dream theory,

techniques for working with dreams, and a forum for the feelings that arise during dreamwork. I believe a dialogue

with the "unconscious" is important. It can enhance one's spiritual journey, foster wholeness, lend itself to decision

making, empower, comfort, entertain, and challenge you.... To enhance one's relationship with their "dream center," a

dreamer may wish to explore a variety of avenues available in dream work, such as dream incubation (consciously

influencing what subjects one dreams about), lucid dreaming (dreaming with full awareness that you are dreaming),

active imagination (dialoguing, during meditation, with dream characters/objects), dream re-entry (re-entering a dream

from a conscious state providing an opportunity to finish or rewrite the ending) and sculpting (role playing the dream, in

three dimensions, utilizing props and the other members of the group). These, and other techniques, improve dream

recall, enhance self-awareness, and provide ways to illuminate & approach The Dream Part of Our Journey.

Participation in dream groups can be a spiritual experience. "No dream is out of the realm of possibility for another

dreamer." Anyone can imaging dreaming such a theme. This creates a commonality, a communion, and what author

Jeremy Taylor refers to as "...the shared felt sense of the presence of the divine." Let us explore and honor these gifts

The Dream Part of Our Journey was founded by Rick Bouchard in 1994. While his practice offering dreamgroups is in

its second year, he has been studying dreamwork for four years and remains a committed student dreamer himself. He

attended the University of Southern Maine, receiving a BA in Philosophy, and the University of New England, receiving

a Masters in Social Work.

The Dream Part of Our Journey is now located at On Balance at 4 Milk St. in Portland. On Balance, a center of healing

education, has provided space for The Dream Part of Our Journey to conduct its groups, workshops, and classes.

E-mail Rick at: 102455.620@compuserve.com

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Finding a Happier Sex Life Through Dreams (Part I)- Tony Crisp

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ANYONE who explores the unconscious life processes in any depth, discovers that within us, beneath the veneer of

modern social training and culture dwells a beast, an animal in fact the human animal. Unfortunately, until recent

in-depth studies of wild animals occurred, Western culture regarded the lives of animals as bestial, governed by raw

aggression, lust and lack of care. Now that animal behaviour is known to have deeply ingrained rules of behaviour

which avoid unnecessary aggression, which act as an expression of caring for the young and for group survival, we need

also to revise our conception of our own innate naturalness.

In their book The Human Race, Terence Dixon and Martin Lucas give the example of a male Orang-utan at Chester

Zoo which was said to have wilfully murdered members of its family. But studies of Orang-utans in the wild show them

to be peaceful creatures. The reason for the killing was that in their natural habitat they are monogamous, and the

children leave their parents at sexual maturity. Sometimes the father drives them away. As the Chester Orang-utan was

always confined in a small cage with his wife and sexually mature children, he tried to drive them away to be

independent. As it was not possible to leave, his instinctive attacks continued and the children died from their injuries.

Was it not the enforced and unnatural social situation which was the real murderer?

Within the unconscious most Europeans have a similar situation. Entering the unconscious is like entering a primordial

world which has been formed by tens of thousands of years of survival experience by the human race. There are deeply

rooted taboos, built by generation after generation accepting as true certain facts such as the wrongness of inter

breeding. Just as the Orang-utan is instinctively monogamous, and has this inbuilt morality, so we too have inbuilt

moral codes. However, we have created a social system which in many ways ignores these basic needs and drives and

actually creates non-functional or sociallyill humans. So we have inside, not only a natural morality, sociability and

sexuality, but also in many cases, an angry, perplexed animal, sick because it has been made to live in an unnatural

environment like the Orang-utan. Our identity and our ability to relate to other humans sexually, develops out of our

childhood experience of parents and family. Because we are human animals who live in conditions which have put us in

a stress situation, we tend to damage the growth of our children at its very roots; at birth, at breast feeding and in the

lack of close and long physical contact. The fact is that a 'great deal of the violence that occurs in modern Western

society is directed towards children by their parents.' 1 The N.S.P.C.C. gives the figures for 1980 alone as, 65 children

under the age of 15 killed by parents, 759 seriously injured, and 5,800 injured.

What tends to be overlooked is that the above figures only illustrate the obvious physical cruelty. But the vast bulk of

infant cruelty goes on as apparently normal behaviour in modern society. In so called primitive societies the baby is

never separated from its mother until it is psychologically and physically ready to do so of its own accord. Separation is

in fact the major trauma for a baby. Yet we think nothing of immediate separation at birth because of hospital routine;

the separation of baby in prams and cots; no actual skin contact for many babies at all because they are bottle fed.

We see the results in our world today as increasing numbers of non- functional human beings. Many of us cannot

maintain a bonded relationship with the opposite sex; we cannot enjoy pleasurable love making; and we have no joy in

our children. Sexual deviation and homosexuality are accepted as part of our world instead of signs that as a society we

are creating human animals who have lost basic human/animal traits.

We need to realise, of course, that it is not the right of every animal, human or otherwise, to be completely free of

problems. Even animals have sexual problems and anxieties. Fortunately human beings have a great capacity to

reprogram negative habits and make changes in themselves. Where changes cannot be made, such as altering physical

factors, humans also have the ability to develop a different attitude to the same situation. Because of these abilities we

do not have to return to the inbuilt patterns of morality from times past; nor remain in an unsatisfactory present-day

social, sexual personality structure. We have the ability to produce change in ourselves, but not by ignoring or glossing

over the unconscious processes of our being, their centuries long conditioning, and their millions of year old survival

drives.

We do not teach a dog to become a guide to the blind by simply talking to it. It becomes a guide dog by working with

its reactions to punishment and rewards, and its natural feelings of love and herding. So our own drives can be directed

to new levels of expression aid achievement by understanding them.

As a baby aid child our sexuality is completely uninhibited. Here is a dream which shows this. It is the earliest dream the

person can remember from childhood.

'I am lying face up cradled in my aunt's knickers. She still has them on, so my own naked body is pressed against hers I

am quite small, in that my head does not emerge from her pants, but at the same time I feel my normal size. My aunt

walks around normally while I am pressed up against her, and I have an incredibly thrilling feeling of orgasm all the

time, and very deep sensual pleasure too. Then my aunt passes faeces, and this is like being bathed in ecstasy. It is so

strong it woke me tip. I am not sure of my age at the time, but I believe it was pre-school.'

Here the child has no problems in using images and feelings freely to express intense sexual pleasure. There is no sense

of guilt, wrongness or shame about any aspect of the dream.

This next dream of C.N.B. a Navajo Indian, shows a struggle with the whole process of desire. So much so that the

dream never reaches direct sexuality.

'I dreamt a bad dream about a dog. I went to hogan, but I do not know who it belonged to. Then this grey dog chased

me. He got hold of my pants and

tore 'em off. Then Mrs. Armijo got hold of the dog and pulled him away. The dog tore Mrs. Armjo's dress to pieces. We

were then both fighting the dog. I was talking in my dream and my wife woke me up. I told my wife nothing was the

matter.

The dream suggests that C.N.B. strongly desired Mrs. Armijo, and she him, but he fought the wild desire even in his

dream. This leaves him still unsatisfied. No matter what code he chooses to live by during the day, there is no point in

frustrating himself at night also. In fact the first step in releasing one's sexual potential is to begin to drop the limitations

we place on ourselves not only in dreams, but also in our fantasy life. In taking such a dream on to a conclusion, one

should allow even the wildest fantasies.

In her book, Myself and I, Constance Newland describes her experience of sixteen LSD therapy sessions. Her given

reason for entering therapy was frigidity, which led to sex being painful and unpleasant. Helped by the de-inhibiting

influence of the drug, Constance gradually allowed deeper and fuller fantasy experiences until she contacted the feelings

and memories which led to the physical tensions, emotional feelings and distorted impressions which underlay her

frigidity. During those sessions she fantasied such things as making love to her partner; eating a desert full of hard

boiled eggs; being a long scream through a tunnel; tearing her mother apart in murderous rage; being a man making

love, and killing her sister. Yet her most powerful and healing session she describes as:

'... a holy experience. During this hour, with no drug or stimulus other than music, I had uncovered forgotten emotions

and experiences of unbelievable reality.' Later, describing how she changed from an overweight, unattractive woman to

a slim and attractive female by finding her independence, she says, I would like to emphasise that I achieved this cure

for myself. I believe one can achieve psychic health without recourse to therapy. It is only when one fights a consistently

losing battle against an important problem one needs help.'

Without any drug, by using fantasy and allowing her emotions to be felt, Constance plumbed the depths of her being,

and brought about positive life changes.

Fantasy is the language of the unconscious processes. By its use the unconscious thinks out or works out our problems

or ways of farther growth. By working with the unconscious in its labour, the process of problem solving can be

speeded up enormously. As problem solving also relates to our growth, its improvement is akin to speeding up our

evolution as a person. The unconscious cannot look back upon its own processes and analyse them, or ask varied

questions as our waking mind can. In a certain sense the unconscious is like an amazing computer which although

having enormous potential, only does what it is programmed to do.

Programs or habits are put into our unconscious originally by actual experiences and our thought/feeling reaction to

them. Working with fantasy is a way of replaying these experiences and our reactions. Because we are consciously

involved we can watch what is happening and ask questions or give feedback. It is helpful also to realise that fantasy is

not simply a thing of the mind. A dancer who improvises is fantasising with their body. A singer who explores and idea

for a song is fantasising with their voice. And an actor fantasies with his emotions, body and voice. In their cases we

recognise fantasy as a highly productive tool of creativity. It is a means of exploring the new, the yet undiscovered.

When we employ it with our dreams, it is also highly productive in self discovery and problem solving. By exploring a

fantasy with images we can achieve a great deal. If we allow our body, voice and emotions to express in movement,

sound and feelings, the pleasures, the pains, the joy, the uncertainty and the peace of our fantasy journey, the depth of

discovery will be enormously increased. By allowing the body to move, we can release deep-seated physical tensions

which are being touched by the fantasy.

Some important features of how to use fantasy are shown in this series of dreams and fantasies of Brian, as he explored

his own sexual feelings.

'It started with a dream in which I was in the First World War in Germany. The Germans had taken a hill we had been

defending, and I had been captured. I had learned to allow fantasy which included my body and feelings, and when I

continued the dream I fantasised, in a very deep sense, being a prisoner and being tied to a bed. German officers

tortured me by crushing my left foot, but I wouldn't give information. During the fantasy my body actually took on the

position of being tied and tortured, and I cried out with the pain. It all seemed real to me, and knowing my name as that

soldier, I thought it must be memories of a past life.

'Because I couldn't understand or feel conclusive about the first fantasy session I undertook another to explore further.

The fantasy continued as if it was something very real. Because I would not talk I was strapped on the bed face down

and a line of German soldiers came and, one after the other, buggered me. I lived this all out with my body and feelings

too, and I really understood what people meant when they say "I feel buggered:" It was as if my personality had been

smashed, broken, and I was just a body walking around. I had at one period relived incidents from my childhood using

this method, and this experience was just as real and deeply felt. So again I concluded I must be remembering a past

life. I was not happily married, and continually struggled with my sexuality, and I thought perhaps past-life experiences

accounted for these inbuilt difficulties.

'On talking this over with a friend however, I noticed when I came to the past-life idea, I didn't look her in the eye, and I

thought I must be avoiding looking at something in myself.

'I tried a third fantasy session, and the talk with P. must have gone deep because I seemed now to relive being attacked

by two youths while I was a teenager in London. This was so realistic I had to ask my parents if I had ever come home

bashed, as if I had been assaulted. They, and I, were mystified. How can one live out an event which never happened? It

was so real, and I felt as if it had happened to me. I felt confused for several days.

'Then I had a dream in which an army was on the move. Some sort of national upheaval was taking place. The army was

made up of teenage males. They were very "cocky" and were looking out for girls. I felt bitter about their herd feelings.

'After that I dreamt I went to look at some chickens in the garden of a house I used to live in. A large cockerel was

amongst them, and to my amused pleasure began to chase the hens. They all ran madly away. My father came along

and said the chickens wouldn't lay with that hen chasing them. I said it wasn't a chicken but a cockerel, and they would

soon calm down. My mother now came and I said the chickens would stop running eventually because the cockerel

was bigger than they. She said, no, it wasn't the size, but the manner and attitude of his approach which could cause an

instinctive response in them.

'When I worked on this dream I fantasied that I was the cockerel, but I couldn't manage to give myself a real cockerel

comb, or powerful neck. This showed me something from my unconscious was not going along with my fantasy. In

observing the feeling I had a sort of explosion of realisation. Here I was, in a male body, yet in regard to most men I felt

"chicken", subservient or as if I was trying to get them to like me. I was like a chicken in a cockerel's body. I realised I

had developed that because I was always trying to get my father to give me some sign of approval or praise, and none

ever came. So I had been going round trying to find an admiring father figure in other men. Also I could see the feeling

showed me as chicken", scared of being a sexual male with woman. Not only because I was uncertain of myself as a

male, but because my mother had scared shit out of me about sex. From thirteen to twentyone I never even had a wet

dream, let alone a girl friend or masturbation, I was so scared.

'From that explosion of realisation all the other things fell into place. I remembered that as a teenager my uncle had

given me a set of volumes about the war. I used to sit and look through the photos for ages. My dream and fantasy had

taken the war as an expression of my own terrible inner conflict about sex. I had been a prisoner of that conflict, and

had been tortured by it. My left foot was my inner feelings of confidence to stand up or support myself as a man. The

buggery and the attack by youths were one and the same thing. Because I never masturbated, allowed myself a wet

dream, or any flow of sexuality, the pressure of sexual drive had been introverted. Again and again I had felt that

pressure as an attack which I resisted, until I was buggered as a youthful personality.

'The reason it had presented as past lives or a fantasy attack by youths was because I would sooner see it as several lives

away, or as anything except feeling the fact that I had never properly turned into a man. I had resisted that so strongly

my unconscious could only express the information in stories which represented the truth in the fantasy of past lives. It

was only when I questioned the fantasy, and would not accept it at face value because it never actually gave me insight

into my present problem or resolved it, that it was connected with my everyday life of today.

'I had one more dream in this series which shows something of the outcome. I was in a small hall with my wife, C. We

were in an area like a bar enclosure for serving drinks. The whole place was dimly lit. I touched C. then ran my hands

under her clothes. She responded tremendously and we fell to the floor. She was really emotional and kept crying out

for me to do "something" with her legs. I forget exactly what. Then some people slowly walked into the hall from

another room. Apparently they were a group interested in spiritualism, and I believe I was supposed to give them a

talk. I said to C. to hold it because of the people, but she was so deep into her desires she went on demanding I have

sex with her. I fought to break free, and it was quite difficult. I walked out of the bar and confronted a youngish man.

We walked into another room where we talked.

'When I began to work on this dream it was very difficult. After a while I dropped my efforts and my thoughts

wandered. At first I took this to be idle day dreaming, then realised I was thinking about my time in the R.A.F. when I

took turns to work behind the bar. There was also an N.C.O.'s bar, in which the sergeant often locked himself and had it

away with various women. I realised this connected with the bar of my dream. It was at that bar I had met H . my

second girl friend, I took her on the Sussex downs and we just lay looking at the stars. She always looked so unhappy.

No wonder she was so frustrated, I wanted to be seduced even then. Poor girl tried her hardest without actually losing

her femininity and doing it for me.

The pattern of the dream then made sense. I had broken away, during those years, from sexual connection with women

and turned to men, just as I did in the dream. All I wanted was to talk about philosophy and spiritualism. As I realised

this, strong feelings arose in my abdomen, like warmth and sexual longing.

'A powerful urge to masturbate arose from this, but I wanted to share it with a woman. My wife was out. I went next

door to see if my youngest son was okay there. Looking at the full breasts of P., the neighbour, I felt tremendous

sexual longing, like hunger deep in my belly. I felt sex was like eating or sleeping. It had no great end solution or answer

in it, and it was not a thing to aim for like a goal which would make one happy, but should be enjoyed for what it is.

When my wife came home we made love. It was very full and lasted a long time.

In drawing out the information here, several things need emphasising; a)Brian did not set out to work on his sexual

difficulties. He simply worked on the war dream. This shows how the dream process is always looking at problem

areas. By working with the process it was carried forward in a way it would not have been capable of without waking

consciousness. For instance, there was a strong resistance for Brian to actually acknowledge his own 'hen' feelings. This

would have prevented the area of feeling from being consciously known if he had not pressed on through the confusion

determined to understand.

b)The drive toward understanding and insight is one of the main safeguards against being lost in meaninglessness

and confusion in the unconscious world of fantasy. Some spiritualistic and psychic researchers get lost in this labyrinth

of fantasy because they do not recognise how personal problems are portrayed in dramatic plots, exterior beings and

past lives by the unconscious. We must never forget that the unconscious dreams. It is the great dramatist. At a

moment's notice it can create a story about ourselves in any guise and any form, in symbols we will allow into

consciousness.

If it is dance we will permit then we will dance out an expression of our own inner pains and wonder. If it is a

paintbrush we wield, then we paint; or a dowsing rod, or a sword, or a pastlife hope, or spirits of the dead; whatever it

is, the master artist, the great dreamer, weaves its wisdom, sings its song, plays out its wondrous theme of life and

death, its majesty of love and struggle toward becoming in the midst of being.

By always seeking to find the connection between the dream life and the objective world of waking experience, or

common human experience, we integrate our being. Brian integrated his fantasies of past lives with his present day life

of teenage sexual conflict, and marital difficulty. But if he had remained in the world of past-life fantasies, he would

never quite discover insight and real change in his presentday life.

c)Brian worked out his new understanding of himself and a release of his deep physical sexual hunger, through a

series of dreams and fantasies. Constance Newland also found change through a series. Both suffered confusion during

the series. So if a dream cannot be carried to immediate satisfaction it is perfectly normal. The unconscious factors

which prevent us from creating the satisfying images or feelings need to be honoured and explored.

d)At one point Brian nearly missed the relevance of his fantasy by thinking it was 'an idle day dream.' The

unconscious is incredibly responsive to the requests of the conscious self. If it were not so we would be unable to

remember the countless pieces of information we do during each day. Once we have set a question to the unconscious,

such as, what is the relevance of this dream to my life, or what is it telling me, the unconscious will attempt to respond,

so long as we will allow it to do so.

However, there is a problem. Imagine a friend who has an amazing amount of information about life in general and also

yourself, and you ask him a question. Let's say the question is, Why do I feel irritable with my husband? or, What is this

dream telling me?

Supposing also that having asked, you never stop talking in order to listen for the reply; that you have already

demanded that any reply must not deal with anything to do with religion or politics. The reply must not stir your

emotions in ways you do not like; it must not contradict your own prejudices about life; it must not mention your

inadequacies; it must not use four letter words, and most important etc., etc.

Brian was so busy trying to work on his last dream that he didn't give the unconscious a chance to respond until he gave

up. So we need to be quiet and watch. If we are holding tightly to our emotions, imagination, sexuality and attitudes,

how can it respond? What means has it other than our own being? Even apparently silly little things like a song coming

suddenly to mind have meaning.

Brian's series of dreams and his work on them graphically depict what has already been said, that sex is not simply an

isolated part of our being. Sex is intimately connected in Brian's life with his self image whether he is a hen or a

cockerel; with his relationships, with his mother and father and with his philosophy of life, in which he sees sex not as a

goal in itself but as a basic pleasure enjoyed for its own sake.

This dream of Barbara's shows the relationship side of sex. 'My husband and I were in bed together. I was feeling hurt as

he had his back to me and was masturbating. I was thinking, "Why turn your back on me?" Then he turned over and

faced me. He had his legs and thighs close to me, and with his legs apart he openly started to masturbate again. This

time somehow I felt he wasn't cutting me off, and I could and did share the feeling of quiet peace and pleasure.

This is a problem solving dream in that the original feeling of being left out has been dealt with by the end of the dream.

If Barbara's dream had ended before her husband turned over, it would have left a feeling of tenseness. The dream also

shows Barbara feeling her husband does not need her to gain his pleasure. She resolves this difficult relationship

situation by creating a feeling of being willing to share his pleasure. Perhaps that would have been the solution she

would have found had she carried the unfinished dream on in visualisation. In either case she had found a way of

relating to her husband in a satisfying way.

Both Barbara and Derek agreed the dream was a clear summing up of the way they were relating to each other at the

time. Where Derek turns to Barbara is the point of change in the dream. If we take it literally it is a turning point in

their relationship. The turning point is that he offers and she is willing to share his pleasure in his sense of independence.

This sharing within independence is a point of growth many couples meet, and some founder on. The turning point in

the dream is so important that Barbara and Derek need to make themselves very aware of it, and use the feelings it

expresses in everyday interactions.

STEP SEVEN

12.What is the Turning Point?

If we look at Brian's series of dreams in this light, there is also an apparent turning point. It begins when he is not

satisfied with fantasies which do not complete the connection between his fantasy life and his lived life. But the change

really occurred when he had the sudden insight into his feelings of looking for a praising father and being scared of sex.

When he saw how he had pulled away from a sexual relationship out of that fear, and involved himself in philosophy and

spiritualism, he was able to drop the tension in his abdomen and felt his sexual hunger. Brian's turning point, therefore,

was in recognising what had been an unconscious choice, of avoiding sexual relationships because he inwardly felt

female and was frightened of sex.

These turning points are like keys which unlock habitual feeling responses to a situation, allowing satisfying changes to

be made. Because habits do not usually disappear overnight, these keys must be used many times in the relationship,

until a new habit is formed. Therefore, the key needs to be made very conscious, written down, and frequently

remembered. Or, better still, practice the change from the locked, unsatisfactory feeling state to the unlocked satisfying

one. So question number four Is there something I need to practice? needs to be used here.

(Part II of this article will appear in Electric Dream 3-2, but if you can't wait, your can get the whole article now at the

DreamGate gopher:

gopher://gopher.igc.apc.org:70/11/orgs/iidcc

And look in the "Articles" folder for "Happier Sex Life Through Dreams.."

Finding a Happier Sex Life is a complete chapter from Tony Crisp's Instant Dream Book, published by C. W. Daniel

Co., 1 Church Path, Saffron Walden, Essex, England. Copyright Tony Crisp, 1984. All rights reserved, reprinted on

Electric Dreams with the permission of the author.

Finding a Happier Sex Life Through Dreams - Tony Crisp

100337.2126@compuserve.com

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NEW DREAMS NEW DREAMS NEW DREAMS NEW DREAMS

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Date: 95-12-31 21:19:22 EST - Blair

"The Big Interview" by Blair

February 28, 1995

I dreamed that I was in a nice hotel in Los Angeles on Hollywood Blvd. preparing for an

interview for a position as Vice President of Finance.

The morning of the interview I was dressed sharp in a business suit, white shirt, tie, and shined

shoes. I waited a long time for my ride to pick me up. Finally I decided to leave and try to find

the place on my own. I went to a shopping area several miles west of the hotel and on Sunset,

but I knew somehow that the interview was south of there on Wilshire. I was playing hooky

from my interview.

I enjoyed the window shopping for awhile (the shopping area was on the south side of Sunset at

a bend in the road; the place does not really exist). There was very expensive business attire in

the stores.

I then called the company I was to interview with. I talked with the president and told him that I

could not find the place (although I really hadn't made any effort). He exclaimed, "Where's that

driver!" He said that he would send his driver right over to the hotel. I hurried back to the

hotel. I went back to my room to change clothes. I was dressed casually in a green Izod shirt

and a sport coat. I didn't look right for an interview. Nicole (a past love who I dream about

often) appeared in the hotel room and told me that I looked OK and urged me to go as I was. I

insisted on changing my shirt.

I knew that the driver was downstairs waiting, but I was taking a very long time to decide on the

right things to wear. I went downstairs to tell the driver that I would only be a few more

minutes. The driver was an Arab named Salim and hardly spoke English. He said some broken

English to me, but I don't remember what. I was shocked as I noticed that I was wearing the

wallaby shoes I had as a freshman in college.

I frantically ran back upstairs. I noticed I was wearing a pink shirt. I was trying to decide

between paisley or solid burgundy suspenders. Nicole urged me to wear the paisley suspenders

but no tie. I decided on the burgundy suspenders and I had to wear a tie.

I was frantically changing clothes. I then decided that a pink shirt and suspenders were not

appropriate for an interview, so I rushed to put on a white shirt and belt. Although I was

rushing, this was taking a very long time and I was afraid that the driver would leave without

me. Note: This same theme, taking a very long time to change clothes, reoccurred several times

in dreams over the next few weeks.

########################################################

Blair's Self-Analysis of "The Big Interview"

This dream is full of symbolism and reflections of the previous day and other things in my life

right now:

The previous day my new boss, the VP Finance, started at work. She is moving from Los

Angeles. At her "get acquainted" staff meeting I paid particular attention to things I would and

wouldn't do and say if/when I make a similar move. I've been building on similar ideas (keeping

an introduction speech in my computer) for several years.

The previous Saturday I spent all day shopping for suits. In addition to the literal reflection of

buying business clothes, the metaphor symbolizes making big plans for my future. But I was

only window shopping and admiring, not actually buying, in the dream. This shows that I am

not currently committed to the course I am contemplating.

The confusion over what to wear and playing hooky from the interview again reflects lack of

commitment to a career direction.

Nicole is symbol of style and daring in my life, as she was in real life. But, both in real life and

the dream, she encouraged me to do some things which I thought were bad judgment because

she didn't understand the situation as I saw it.

In a sense I am playing hooky from my job now. I'm not being challenged near as much as I

should be (yet--that will happen as my new boss gets settled).

Indecision about changing clothes = conflict between career and real life.

Hurrying back to change clothes, then frantically changing clothes while seeming to take a

long time, may be a warning of the peril of not being prepared for an opportunity when it

presents itself. I wasn't prepared because I did not prepare myself for preparation.

Salim is the name of an Arab who I saw on the news arrested for terrorist activities the

previous day. I repeated his name when I saw the news clip.

========================================================

"Telling the Truth" by Blair

February 25, 1995

I dreamed that debate over the truth of a old fable was a current topic in the news media. I

recall a call-in radio talk show where a caller was arguing with the radio host. As I heard the

debate, I saw a newspaper article that the caller was citing. The newspaper showed a

chronology (notice the repetitions of elevens):

May 23, 1111 8:11pm finds the stone year 1122--eleven years later--the boy tells the

lie

There were several more lines of dates, but I don't remember them.

The caller questioned, as if to make a strong point, "If all this is true, then what happened in

that eleven year gap?" The radio host was silent as if stumped by the question.

At this point in the dream, I dreamed the fable that was at issue. On May 23, 1111, there was a

flash of light in the night sky. A meteor fell to earth. As the meteorite lay embedded in the earth,

it emitted light. The townspeople ran to the site and were amazed. A little boy ended up as

keeper of the stone because he arrived first. (Later when I awoke, I couldn't recall the boy's

name, but it was something like Rapunzel, Rumplestilskin, or Pinocchio (note: Pinocchio told

lies). (Throughout the day all these names stuck in my mind as the boy's name, but I couldn't

recall it for sure.)

The scene changed. I was in a book store browsing a comic book entitled "Telling the Truth."

The comic book cover showed fantasy depiction of spacecraft and UFOs as they would appear

in a cheap 1950's sci-fi movie. I opened the comic book. It continued, in a comic story, the

fable of the boy and the stone. The stone (meteorite) continued to emit light and the boy carried

it everywhere he went. But one day the little boy told a lie (consistent with the newspaper

chronology mentioned above) and the stone did not shine any more.

The comic book continued to explain that the stone was controlled by angels. As this was

revealed, I heard & saw a preacher at a podium reading from a five page text that God does not

allow angels to respond to our prayers with words, but only with deeds. And they do respond.

If angels do not seem to answer our prayers, there is a very good reason for it.

==================================================

Date: 96-01-04 16:19:16 EST

"... I have been looking for a magazine just like this. I have a dream for you that I would like

published under the pen-name "Ziggy". Here goes:" [Welcome aboard "Ziggy"! - ED]

Tennis in a Restaurant

I was at my place of employment with my good friend and fellow co-worker, John,; his new

"girlfriend" and fellow co-worker, Stephanie; and Stephanie's first boyfriend, Tim, who

happened to be visiting from Michigan. We have a small dining room in which Stephanie, some

other (recently fired) co-workers, and I painted the floor. The evening this dream occurred on, I

learned that John and Stephanie had been arguing in this room about their relationship and how

it was not going well. I dreamt that John and Stephanie had decided to play tennis in the room.

They got three orange thermos bottles and filled one with coffee, one with tea, and one with an

unknown substance. The coffee filled thermos was on John's side and the tea filled thermos was

on Stephanie's side. They did not have any tennis balls, so they asked if I had any.

In real life, a few months ago a friend on the tennis team at school had left some tennis balls in

my car and I told John, in the dream, I would go get them. I returned to find out that I was on

John's team. Stephanie and Tim would be on the opposing team. We only had two tennis rackets

and Stephanie and John got to use them. Tim was not really playing; he was standing in the

corner watching. Stephanie kept hitting balls to me and I tried to hit them with my hands, but

often failed. The real game was between John and Stephanie. They hit the ball back and forth in

a badminton-like way. There was no net in the middle and they ended up switching sides.

Everyone seemed happier with it being boys versus girls.

In the last part of the dream, I remember being in my bedroom with John and Stephanie

(neither of whom have ever been to my house). They were standing behind me as I was sitting

facing my window with the thermos containing the unknown substance behind me.

==================================================

Date: 96-01-05 11:33:40 EST

==== Dream " Back to School" by Richard ==== (950105)

I'm at Stanford University Palo Alto, CA . Its kind of foggy out and I'm walking around a

lake. I notice how nicely kept it is and thing about the privileged students here. I pass other

students walking around the lake. I encounter some white swans, perhaps geese like creatures. I

recall having had trouble with them before, but seem to get by their twisting, intertwining necks.

Later I'm in a classroom and sitting fairly far back in the class. I think its an anthropology

class. I get to know the students around me as the teacher sets up some kind of sound system for

the class. One guy is kind of a hoodlum but friendly to me. The other is a young woman, not

exactly shy, but self contained and probably a good listener. The Teacher continues to work

with the sound machines and soon he starts producing rhythms as if he had a sequencer or

computer generated sound box. Some of the class dances. I find the rhythms mechanical, but

think he'll learn more as he works with the system. I think about what really makes for

human-ness in the computer age when slick things now give the feeling that no-one is any longer

behind them.

The class is interrupted by a guy ( a man in his 40's- tall thin) who comes and the Teacher, (a

chubby fellow in his late 30's) and talks to the teacher about his laptop computer. He tells the

teacher that he has loaded the new operating system on and talks about the technicalities of that,

something about loading in on the bottom half first, la-de-da. At times the teacher looks

concerned, at other times distracted or annoyed, at other times attentive and interested.

There is some kind of Class break, several people leave, the hoodlum leaves. I see someone

come and sit in his chair and wonder to myself if I should tell him someone is sitting there - I'm

not sure if the hoodlum is coming back> I decide to let the hoodlum deal with it and talk to the

new student who is a sharp young college brat, a know it all with round glasses and clever

questions. He asks me about what's going on, and I give him a brief.

All of a sudden the food is brought in and put on a table a row or two ahead of us. The

students swarm and it sets me thinking again about city life and the aggressiveness factor of

success. But I wait until there is a clearing and then go to the table. There is still plenty of food,

but no clean dishes.

After looking it over I take one of the serving cups as my plate and fill it. There are banana

pieces and pears, citrus fruits and clever little Rice Crispy balls. I wonder if they are held

together with glucose/sugar. I put milk on the cocktail and go back to my seat.

Day notes - I didn't go to Sanford. I did remove Stanford last night as the source of Yahoo

Web directory in a Guide to Dreaming on Internet I was working on, as it is now a stand alone

company.

########################################################

Date: 96-01-10 01:32:18 EST

Response to dream, "Back to School" by Richard from Marian. If this were my dream I would

view the university as a place for institutionalized learning that is very valued by our society. It is

foggy and its value is not clear to me. I notice the well kept lake, a metaphor for tidy, under

control sanitized feelings. The swans are an almost fairytale version of the perfect beautiful

scene - but I know that they can mean trouble - their twisting intertwining necks could snag me

and I could get caught up in this sanitized, (not really) perfect world.

In the classroom I sit in the back, not fully a part of things, something of an observer. I am

friendly with a hoodlum who is also in the back, who doesn't fit in with this world. A

self-contained woman who listens well is also in the back. The class is anthropology, the study

of humans and their past. The teacher is using a sound system, sound machine, computer

generated mechanical rhythms. In contrast to this I think about what makes human-ness.

The hoodlum is replace by a clever brat student who takes the hoodlums seat. I do not interfere

with this and help the clever student out (brief him).

Food/nourishment is brought in. (For the mind?) I observe the aggressive behavior of students

rushing for food, pushing for success. I wait until there is room. There is still nourishment

available but the container is dirty. This may be a metaphor for the university/computer/

/mechanical way of serving information. I find my server. I serve myself fruit and clever rice

balls - the food is healthy but the cleverness is suspect - probably held together with sugar - no

real nourishment there. In summary, If this were my dream it would be about a conflict I was

feeling about a rational, intellectual, controlling approach to a situation vs a more feeling, human

approach. Thanks for the dream!

########################################################

Date: 96-01-11 08:58:51 EST

Here's my first stab at dream interpretation, simplistic though it may be.

Thanks. - "Nutcracker".

= Comments from Nutcracker on "Back To School" by Richard =

* It's kind of foggy out

Dreamer is unable to see or think clearly.

* I notice how nicely kept it (the university) is

Dreamer appreciates 'the order of things'.

* Thinks about the 'privileged students' around him

Dreamer perhaps resents their social standing; the

ease with which they are given things.

* White swans/geese like creatures

Dreamer sees swans/geese as beautiful yet unpredictable.

Ready to attack, even though unprovoked.

* I'm in a classroom and sitting fairly far back in the class - I get to know the students around me

Dreamer wants to remain anonymous, yet makes friends.

* One guy is kind of a hoodlum (friendly) and a young woman, not shy, but self-contained.

Some of the class dances.

Dreamer appreciates the diversity of this group, who for the most part, are uninhibited.

* I think about what makes for human-ness in the computer age

Dreamer sees the decline of humanity - a world soon to be run totally by nameless, faceless,

genderless machines, wondering who will be left to care?

* The guy who interrupts the teacher

Dreamer sees him as knowledgeable and self assured. Perhaps a little too knowledgeable,

seeming to, yet unintentionally, over- powering the teacher.

* The teacher

Dreamer sees him with a lack of mechanical ability and self esteem (no control of his

emotions when the guy interrupts him - wishy-washy), but sees promise that he will improve in

time.

* There is a class break. The hoodlum leaves.

Dreamer admires the hoodlum for his devil-may-care attitude, wishing he could be more

carefree.

* A sharp young college brat sits in the hoodlum's seat and asks clever questions

Dreamer, out of a sense of duty, despite forming a certain dislike for him at first glance, cares

what may happen to this person should the hoodlum return.

* Food is brought in and the students swarm

Dreamer sees the students like fire ants, ready to devour everything in sight while dreamer

stands back and observes their aggressive behavior, perhaps longing for a simpler, quieter life for

himself.

* There is plenty of food, but no clean dishes Dreamer is a survivor and can fend for himself.

He will never starve.

* Clever little Rice Krispy balls

Dreamer has a natural curiosity for even the simplest things in life, be they mundane or

grandiose.

Summation: Dreamer is someone who cares about humanity and worries about its fate. He is

able to see and accept people for who they are and the faults that accompany them. He

appreciates his surroundings and has a natural curiosity and interest for things in his world.

########################################################

Date: 96-01-12 07:35:17 EST

==== Commentary by Narcissus on " Back to School" by Richard=====

I'm at Stanford University Palo Alto, CA . Its kind of foggy out and I'm walking around a

lake. I notice how nicely kept it is and thing about the privileged students here. I pass other

students walking around the lake. I encounter some white swans, perhaps geese like creatures.

I recall having had trouble with them before, but seem to get by their twisting, intertwining

necks.

"Fog" at a premier learning institutions. Is a fog blocking my efforts to learn?"Twisting,

intertwining necks": Reminds me of a caduceus. What an interesting mix of symbols for

healing/rebirth and for beauty. Yet I've had "trouble w/ them before." Have I had difficulty, are

there barriers to health or beauty?

Later I'm in a classroom and sitting fairly far back in the class. I think its an anthropology

class. I get to know the students around me as the teacher sets up some kind of sound system for

the class. One guy is kind of a hoodlum but friendly to me. The other is a young woman, not

exactly shy, but self contained and probably a good listener.

If this were my dream, the guy would be my adolescent self; the woman my anima.

The Teacher continues to work with the sound machines and soon he starts producing rhythms

as if he had a sequencer or computer generated sound box. Some of the class dances. I find the

rhythms mechanical, but think he'll learn more as he works with the system. I think about what

really makes for human-ness in the computer age when slick things now give the feeling that

no-one is any longer behind them.

There's a strangeness to doing something as personal and healing as dreamwork over a

computer. We hear the rhythm of life in the dreams, but it still strikes me as mechanical not to

share/discuss dreams in person.

The class is interrupted by a guy ( a man in his 40's- tall thin) who comes and the Teacher,

(a chubby fellow in his late 30's) and talks to the teacher about his laptop computer. He tells the

teacher that he has loaded the new operating system on and talks about the technicalities of that,

something about loading in on the bottom half first, la-de-da. At times the teacher looks

concerned, at other times distracted or annoyed, at other times attentive and interested.

I'm guessing that the dreamer is in his 40's and was heavier in his 30's. (True for me; why not

the dreamer?) If this is the case, the dream could be both about the frustrations of dealing w/

younger computer geeks as well as any baggage still held from those years.

There is some kind of Class break, several people leave, the hoodlum leaves. I see someone

come and sit in his chair and wonder to myself if I should tell him someone is sitting there - I'm

not sure if the hoodlum is coming back> I decide to let the hoodlum deal with it and talk to the

new student who is a sharp young college brat, a know it all with round glasses and clever

questions. He asks me about what's going on, and I give him a brief.

If this were my dream, the hood and the geek would be two younger versions of myself. I

"replace" the hood w/ the geek, yet both pretend not to know about one another.

All of a sudden the food is brought in and put on a table a row or two ahead of us. The

students swarm and it sets me thinking again about city life and the aggressiveness factor of

success. But I wait until there is a clearing and then go to the table. There is still plenty of food,

but no clean dishes. After looking it over I take one of the serving cups as my plate and fill it.

There are banana pieces and pears, citrus fruits and clever little Rice Crispy balls. I wonder if

they are held together with glucose/sugar. I put milk on the cocktail and go back to my seat.

I'm struck by the anomaly of serving a meal in a classroom. Am I being fed by learning? I'm

also impressed by the ingenuity of the dream ego, making a meal when there are no dishes. Is

the dreamer looking for nourishment and having to apply ingenuity in order to obtain it?

Day notes - I didn't go to Sanford. I did remove Stanford last night as the source of Yahoo

Web directory in a Guide to Dreaming on Internet I was working on, as it is now a stand alone

company.

I too didn't go to Stanford, tho I "dreamed" of it. Was removing Stanford giving up a dream

of attending?

I hope these questions/thoughts are of use to the dreamer and other interpreters.

Narcissus ########################################################

Subj: Resp to Dream - Back to School Date: 96-01-13 22:20:15 EST

Hi, this is my first response so if I have violated any specific netiquette, please let me know and

it won't happen again.

Comments for Richard re: "Back to School"

Taking the elements of the dream in segments; the first part of the dream where you are at a

university, walking around a lake, there is other students, white swans with intertwining necks,

its foggy, etc.

Keep in mind when you are dealing with a school setting and students you are looking at

learning, studying, going along life's path. Life is taught to us by all people and all situations. It

is important to remember to be enthusiastic (sp) because you have to go through the lessons.

Lessons never change until you have learned from them.

Being in a FOGGY are may represent an idea of an inability to see clearly these lessons or

experiences. Perhaps you need to raise your energy to understand some situation or direction

you are going into. Also, anything dealing with water represents an emotional area. A lake

specifically can represent emotional resources and sensitivity you have. The way you describe it

in your dream as being pleasantly kept would imply you are very much in control of your

emotions.

You mentioned the idea of "privileged" students. Keep in mind privileged might also be

thought of a wealth and wealth can represent knowledge, wisdom and understanding as well as

creative power. So what you are looking at is an environment in your dream that says that

around you have the emotional resources to learn your lessons in life and you have knowledge

and wisdom and understanding and creative power all around you. You may not be seeing

clearly but if you raise your energy level (center) you could see more clearly.

The white swans and the intertwining necks and your "trouble with them before" may mean

that there are times when you do have some difficulty with keeping your emotions balanced.

Both white and swan are excellent symbols for guidance, purity, truth; they can represent

protection - the perception of freedom or peacefulness of the soul and again being on top of

your emotions (overall) in the school we call life.

In looking at dreams I like to look at the numbers because I am a numerologist. Although you

mentioned a white swan, you said their necks were intertwining and that brings to me the

concept of 2. The necks in and of themselves could represent the idea of verbalizing, taking a

risk saying something. Think of it as being involved with the throat chakra. Two represents

balance. Balance in life that might be needed. It could represent a balance within the two

aspects of yourself - male/female, assertive/receptive - however you want to term it. So the

swans' intertwining necks could represent a slight concern over taking risks or balances that are

needed in order to take risks or verbalizing or saying something you would like to say.

In the next segment of your dream when you are in the class with the teacher and the students

and sound boxes, etc. - Whenever a teacher appears in a dream I like to look at it as literally

that. A teacher is someone who shows the way. How to do or not to do something. I always

like to pay attention because it is an inner teacher that is trying to get my attention. They help

you become awakened to the insight of your own receptivity. Remember you are always your

own teacher though in the long run.

The hoodlum character could represent a protection of yourself. Refer back to the fog - the

intertwining necks - the areas of clarity or risks - it could be a hiding from yourself and not

seeing yourself as who you really are.

The young female may represent that 2 balance - the nurturing - receptive part that does not

need protecting and has no need to hide and is in control. With the 2s you have expressed

earlier in the dream and the references to balance it is not unusual to have the male/female

represented - here one (male) is perhaps hiding from himself who he really is and the other

(female) is "contained" or balanced and a "good listener" (nurturing).

The rhythms, sound box, dancing - that scene. A box can represent limits you put on yourself

- you may be wanting to expand your vision to break out of those self-imposed limits. The fact

you said the sounds seemed mechanical to you could infer you had an artificial sense to what

was being expressed. Rhythms/music represents an inner harmony - a healing aspect. A sense

of peace from within. Perhaps you feel your sense of peace is artificial - again refer to the fog,

intertwining necks, hoodlums. Now, the people dancing could represent a couple of things.

Joyfulness, freedom, etc. One thing it could represent however is that you are dancing around a

problem instead of resolving it - this may be where your sense of "artificial" is coming from.

Perhaps you have limited yourself in some area and not willing to honestly see (fog), admit

(necks) or bring into the open (hoodlum) what ever it is - you may feel you are presenting an

artificial persona and not who you really are.

Then you talk about the two men who come into the room; one thin and 40 and one "chubby"

and 30. Again, male - assertive, strong, intellectual, consciousness, will. Being thin could be

one of two things. It could be a lack of strength you feel is within yourself but being around

"40" from a numerology perspective - you are dealing with the number 4 - foundation, growing

with perfect balance (2+2) he is spiritually empowered. The other male again -the assertive,

strong....., is chubby/fat. He can represent the idea that you are hiding from your true self

(sounds like the hoodlum a bit, ya?) that you are suppressing your emotions for some reason.

The "fat" represents a richness of abundance around you but keeping it at bay. He's 30 - the

number 3. Whenever the number 3 shows up in a dream I always look at it as having a spiritual

message. The 3 represents the harmony of the mind-body-spirit - the holy trinity so to speak.

Your #3 man, the one with the richness and abundance is telling the "teacher" he has laid a

foundation (loading these programs) and the teacher, the inner teacher, has mixed feelings about

this. There is a responsibility once a foundation is laid in doing things that need to be done.

Again the 2 duality - the teacher is both excited and annoyed about this foundation being laid.

You have everything there you need to do whatever it is you need to do - the decision is in

doing it.

You do an interesting thing part way through the dream - you switch characters within

yourself. The hoodlum leaves - the need for protection leaves, that sense of hiding from who

you are sets out after the two other males come into the internal teacher and say you are

empowered, I have this foundation laid for you, you have a richness and abundance of ability -

the hoodlum leaves and what is he replaced by - he is replaced by something that represents

great openness. Someone bright, smart, has few restrictions, has very few limitations - he is

wearing glasses. Glasses suggests you take a second look at a situation. You have better vision

now. You have more clarity now. Take a look at it now with new sight. The glasses you said

were round - circle - wholeness, completeness. You are now looking at things from a position

of having completed a cycle into a whole new wholeness of this mind-body-spirit, this trinity,

this 3 that is represented by the chubby male who is also augmented by the thin male. You have

a lot of numbers, 2,3,4 keep coming up.

Then you move into the food. It is interesting; your dream is almost taking you from a place of

where you believe you are (which a dream will often do) [first part of dream] through what you

truly have within yourself and what you are capable of [the classroom] through the tools you

have to reach your goal [the dining] and ultimately I believe you will get to your goal. Now

food is your nourishment and again the nourishment of all the aspects of yourself. Your

physical, mental, spiritual, emotional. The food is on square tables. Tables are your daily

activity and/or the act of putting off a decision in that daily activity. You have all this nurturing

and everything you have to make a decision but you may be putting off doing it. You said there

is a couple - 2 - back to that balance again. It is interesting you do not step into all this

nourishment during the chaos and confusion of everyone else rushing in. You step back and

wait until there is a calmness, a centeredness. You stay out of the chaos and confusion and even

when all the chaos is gone there is still plenty of nourishment left for you. You discover there

are no clean conveyors now for the nourishment after the chaos so what do you do - you pick up

a cup. A cup represents the heart of the self. It is very spiritual and represents even more so

than a plate that which fills us with our own inner knowledge and our own inner strength. You

fill it - you fill it to overflowing. You are attuned with what is going on. The fact that you list

mostly fruits as your type of food is really - this whole thing has been really fascinating - it is

really interesting because foods have different meanings. One of the meanings could be you are

lacking in your diet what that food represents- in this case the vitamins or nutrients offered by

those specific fruits - but over and above that fruit represents the productive outcome resulting

from facing and moving through problems. You have given yourself a banquet, you've waited

until all the chaos is gone and you have given yourself a banquet of fruit that represents the

productive outcome of going through a problem and then you have topped it off with milk. The

most sustaining, nurturing, caring type of liquid that one can think of. Babies are nurtured off of

mother's milk, it comes from a place of love and nurturing and that comes from caring for and

developing different parts of yourself.

Your dream is fascinating, thank you very much for sharing it. In a nutshell I would say you

have all the tools you need to learn life's lessons. If you are facing a particular situation or

lesson now the fog in the early part of the dream, your inability to see clearly, is obviously

shifted through the dream. You're being told that you can get that clear vision when you shift

from the hoodlum to the student with the glasses who can see with different eyes. You have all

types of help behind you but more than anything else it is saying to you that you have the inner

wisdom, you have the strength, you have the knowledge, you have everything you need from

within and you have plenty of assets and a lot of help from without also. Just do not be afraid to

take those risks, verbalize what you need to verbalize, face what situations you need to face

because life is an on going lesson and it will turn out okay. There is nothing in here that

indicates you cannot accomplish whatever it is you are setting out to accomplish. Your use of

numbers was very interesting. Take advantage of them. Your 3 for the spiritual strength, your 4

for the foundation, your 2 for balance. Use them in your life. If they come up a lot in your

dreams pay attention to them.

That's all I have. That's just really a fast glance through it. Could do it at different levels but

don't really have the time because of the format. Even at a glance I apologize for the length of

the comment but it was a really intriguing dream. I hope you enjoy your lessons and thank you.

Kittie B.

=================================================

Date: 96-01-13 16:36:19 EST

"At the Beach" by Pam

I was in Ocean City, staying in a small condo apartment across the street from the beach.

For some reason, someone told me that my condo was for sale and that people were coming to

look at it. However, I discovered that I didn't own the apartment but instead owned an

easement onto the beach. I was on the roof of the apartment building and there I met some of

the people who had come to look at the condo. I started talking to a middle-aged (fiftyish)

woman, and discovered that she was one of the prospective buyers. I began describing the

condo to her and she seemed quite interested. Then I told her I didn't own the apartment, but

only the "patio", as I called the beach easement. I took her outside to look at it. Again, she

seemed interested in it, but then she told me she owned another beachfront condo. I felt

disappointed because I didn't think she would want another, especially one that was only a

"patio" without an apartment.

--------------------------------------------------------

"Time Traveling" by Pam

I had gone 300 years into the future. I met an Asian woman and spent some time with her,

shopping in a city, etc. We were planning to go back to my time and she was going to come

with me. We crossed a busy street against the light, and she expressed a lot of concern about

doing so, but I told her I had plenty of experience crossing streets and this wasn't a dangerous

situation. Before we left the future to go back to my time, I contacted a man whom I knew

slightly. I went to his house, which was actually a one bedroom apartment, and went inside to

wait for him to come home. While I was there I looked around the apartment. I was somewhat

surprised that the place was as small as it was, although it was neat and attractive. The kitchen

in particular was very small; it wasn't a separate room, but was an area in an alcove off the living

room. I mentally compared it to my kitchen, as if I were trying to reassure myself that I had

more space.

While there, I discovered that this guy was a 31 year old graduate student. I felt

disappointed at learning this. I thought that he wasn't as far advanced as I thought he was.

Finally, he returned, but there was a lot of anxiety and tension among everyone because a

storm was coming. It was going to be more difficult to travel than we had anticipated.

=================================================

Subj: No Subject Date: 96-01-07 21:56:51 EST From: JohnJ

"Some Sort Of Prison" [submitted without title]

Although there were no physical barriers anywhere, I had the idea I was in some sort of prison.

But I couldn't remember what I'd done -- was it murder, rape, or debt? I seemed to remember

having murdered someone, but I was not sure it had not been a dream.

I knew I did owe some money, but it was not really enough to be jailed for.

I was not sure of my innocence, so I decided to call my parents to see if they remembered why

I was in jail. Someone I did not know answered the phone. This was okay, I assumed that he

was a friend of my father's, but I was a little annoyed when I could hear him asking my parents if

they could speak with me. He came back to the phone saying that they could not. Listen, I told

him, you are a stranger in MY house, this is MY phone call, and they are MY parents. And who

was he anyway? He answered that his name was Denztis. Or Densys. I was under the

impression that he had been named after a Saint. He put the phone down, ostensibly to give it

to my parents. But after that I didn't hear anything. I called out into the receiver, "Mom? HEY

DAD!" but ... nothing. Eventually, a recording came on telling me to hang up the receiver.

So I hung up. This is when I realized that Warren was in my apartment, and so was a girl I did

not know. Warren is a good friend of my roommates, and someone I respect. He showed me a

small Christmas tree ornament, made out of candy. As I looked at it, I saw it was a crib of hay.

And looking closer, I noticed it was not a Christ child in the crib, but what at first looked like a

baby girl, and finally looked like tweety bird. I thought it was a very unusual holiday ornament,

but I gave it back to him. He said he could NOT wait to eat it.

**

--------------------------------------------------------

Date: 96-01-07 21:56:51 EST From: JohnJ

"MIT Class 2.70 stuff at outdoor cafeteria"

[dream submitted without title]

I had left my stuff at a table in an outdoor cafeteria. It contained a bunch of parts for a

contest/class at MIT called 2.70. I was supposed to construct something from the kit, but I had

not begun and only a week remained before the first round of the contest. When I came back to

the table, I saw that three students were sitting at it. They were talking about how expensive it

was to go to MIT. I picked up my bag then I said, you have no idea how expensive it is. It gets

worse after you graduate.

They did not seem to be able to relate to this. They did not seem too friendly, nor did it seem

like an unusual coincidence to run into an MIT grad off campus. So I left. But it had crossed

my mind that if they'd looked in the bag, they would have seen that I had not begun constructing

my machine. I thought that if they looked in the bag, they would have at least realized what

course I was in, since the contest was something of a high profile event, and would have at least

said something about that. But I was not really interested in figuring out if they had been friendly

or not, I had to find out if I could get out of constructing the machine or if I was already

committed to it.

=-=-=

These are dreams about being committed to school debts. And about being committed to my

degree in Mechanical Engineering. Which I hate. After three weeks in Lima, Peru, I decided to

live there as soon as possible. And due to school debts, I would have to find a pretty kick-ass

job in Lima for as soon as possible to be ever. Also, I can no longer find common ground with

my roommates, thus the prison/apt.

########################################################

= Comments from Nutcracker on "...Outdoor Cafeteria" by John =

* I had left my stuff at a table in an outdoor cafeteria.

- Dreamer may have too many things going on at once in his life (becoming forgetful).

Should perhaps take a step back and look at the 'big picture'. Separate what's really important

from the *are these necessary* items.

* It contained a bunch of parts for a contest/class at MIT called 2.70. I was supposed to

construct something from the kit,

- Shows the dreamer has a creative side. Someone who's not afraid to take on a challenge.

* but I had not begun and only a week remained before the first round of the contest.

- Again, dreamer is pressed for time. Should look into prioritizing his life.

* When I came back to the table, I saw that three students were sitting at it. They were talking

about how expensive it was to go to MIT. I picked up my bag then I said, you have no idea

how expensive it is. It gets worse after you graduate.

- Dreamer has come to realize that the older you get, the harder life becomes. That as

children we are more or less shielded from the harsh realities of life, in essence, preserving our

youth.

* They did not seem to be able to relate to this. They did not seem too friendly,

- Perhaps the dreamer appeared to them as a parental figure, hence, their not heeding his

advice and the reason for their unfriendliness.

* nor did it seem like an unusual coincidence to run into an MIT grad off campus.

- I sense the dreamer himself feels 'out of place' here. Making excuses for his right to be

there.

* So I left.

- Dreamer feels dejected by their lack of interest.

* But it had crossed my mind that if they'd looked in the bag, they would have seen that I had

not begun constructing my machine.

- So if they had looked in the bag, they would have reached what conclusion? Would they

have realized he's just like them? Unmotivated?

* I thought that if they looked in the bag, they would have at least realized what course I was

in, since the contest was something of a high profile event, and would have at least said

something about that

. - Dreamer appears to be seeking recognition, but why from total strangers?

* But I was not really interested in figuring out if they had been friendly or not, I had to find

out if I could get out of constructing the machine or if I was already committed to it.

- Dreamer has bigger concerns than their seeming unfriendliness. Dreamer is in a quandary,

perhaps uncertain as to where his future lies. Has he even chosen the right profession?

SUMMATION: Perhaps dreamer should rethink his major. Is MIT the place for him? Or

would he be happier doing something else? Perhaps he wants to do something that other people

think he shouldn't do. Is he going to MIT to fill other people's expectations of him or is he

going for his own personal satisfaction?

--------------------------------------------------------

(Three nights ago.)[960104 -ED]

"Family Dinner - Father's Side Of The Family" by John J.

I was eating dinner with my father's side of the family. His mother, no longer living was meeting

us in a cafeteria. So it was me, my mother, my father, and someone pulls out the chair next to

me and sits. She begins speaking spanish, relatively fluently. She is my grandmother, but

shockingly, she's not white, like I remember her. In fact, she looks like me, half white and half

mestizo, but this is impossible. Where did she learn spanish? What shocked me most was the

realization that I was the only person in my family who could not speak spanish. I was getting

very upset. So I turned to my mother and said, interrupting my grandmother, who I could not

understand, "What's this?" She explained to my that my grandmother lived in Lima for many

years as a journalist. I'm still angry, but at what? My father says that my grandmother doesn't

believe that she's old. In fact, she doesn't look more than 30, she has smooth tan skin, but my

father tells me she can't cross the street by herself.

=-=-=

When I was in Lima I asked my mother why she didn't speak to me in spanish

while I was growing up. But I already knew the answer. There was no reason.

I simply asked out of anger. My father, who is from Illinois, can think in spanish, but speaks

with a thick American accent. My mother's mother is 90 years old and I had to help her cross

the street several times, but once she didn't tell anyone she was going to church and did it

herself. In Lima, this is very dangerous.

========================================================

Date: 96-01-08 01:00:57 EST From: Kittie B. [Welcome aboard Kitty!-ED]

This is my first submission. All 3 of these dreams were back-to-back during the same evening.

I do not remember specifics of beginnings of each but know the feelings were pleasant and

enjoyable. I remember clearly only from this specific point forward to the end of each.

"Drving With 3 Children" by Kittie B. [submitted without a title]

1. ...I end up driving in a car. There are 3 children in the back seat. I reach behind the driver's

seat to get something. The children attack my arm, biting, etc. I cannot get them to stop

hurting my arm. The car is still moving and I am afraid I will lose control of it if I do not get my

arm back. I realize I have to remove the children from the back seat. I am struggling to open

the back door while driving. The car swerves because it is hard to control. I finally get the back

door open, the car swerves sharply and the children are "dumped" out the open door. I am

losing control of the car , it is swerving wildly. I suddenly feel bumps as the car rolls over the

children. I am horrified! I did not intend to harm them, just remove them. I wake with a start in

fear and terror. I wake with "conscious" emotional feelings to my sense of terror at

inadvertently hurting the children.

"Vapor Trails" by Kittie B. [submitted without a title]

1. ...I am in a peaceful scene with a 2-story wood house in a somewhat isolated area. There are

no other homes nearby. There is a beautiful vista, like a high plains area. There is someone

upstairs, I am outside. She [female upstairs] calls to me asking if I'd every seen "anything like

this, it's weird?" I start up the stairs and can see through a glassless window off into the vista

view. It appears something is falling from the sky hitting the landscape. It looks like multitudes

of vapor trails coming down from the sky. I see them hit earth and one or two appear to

explode - large dust clouds rise. I suddenly realize what it is and scream to hide. Laurie [my

daughter in real life] is running from outside towards the stairs leading to the upper level of the

house. I turn & run to meet her yelling for her to hurry. As I get to the top of the stairs I see

her engulfed in massive clouds of white smoke or vapor and I realize I cannot help her now. I

turn and run quickly to the other female to find an escape and wake up with a start of fear and

adrenalin. (I realized when I saw the impacts of whatever was causing the vapor trails from the

sky that we were under some type of attack and they were not explosive as with a bomb but

were exploding and releasing some type of chemical or gas.)

"Captive Execution" by Kittie B. [submitted without a title]

[****Not for the squeamish***-ED]

3. ...I am with a group who have been taken captive and are being held by some type of military

coup. I get the feeling they are the "bad guys." One of the men attempted to attack the military

leader (we were not military but civilians). He was unsuccessful in his attack. The next scene he

is tied to a post and the leader of the military group is staring at him. I see the sadness in the

captured man's eyes at his failure to succeed in his attack and the military leader shoots him with

an automatic gun. In the next scene I am trying to cut the captured man's throat because he was

not killed outright when shot. He wishes me to do this and because I love him and feel

compassion for him I agree - even though I don't want to. I have trouble cutting his throat

because the item I am using is not very sharp but I eventually succeed. His blood spills down his

neck. Then I see the military leader with piano wire approaching the captured man as if to

strangle him now. He walks with others towards the stake and I see we are in a large open

warehouse which is empty except for the man tied to a stake in the center. As the military man

walks through the entrance area he sees the whole floor covered in what looks like watery blood

and the man hanging limp on the stake. The man is all alone in the room - I have vanished from

sight. At this point I wake up feeling very saddened.

I have successive dreams frequently...sometimes I have to ask they be slowed down or I get

overload. Any and all comments are welcomed. Thanks, K.

========================================================

Date: 96-01-15 11:32:12 EST

<My penname is Kenneth> [Welcome aboard Kenneth!-ED]

"Lithuanian Monk" Wed 3 Jan 1996

Dream: A Lithuanian monk is circumnavigating the globe eastwards on foot. He says "When I

forget my name I will return."

Interpretation: A nicely compact and very significant dream about my spiritual life. I had a

friend, a mathematician of Lithuanian descent, who was a very deep friend, but he was not this

figure. The (generic) monk is walking widdershins, the monastic ethos being /contra naturum/,

but upon waking I wondered if his ego-death was his forgetting his secular name -or his

monastic name? Brother Timothy in Babylon 5, "lover of God," I think. I'm also reminded of

T.S. Eliot's _Four Quartets (Little Gidding): We shall not cease from exploration / And at the

end of all our exploring / Will be to arrive where we started / And to know the place for the first

time. One friend thinks this dream occult. I disagree. One needs to at least acknowledge the

sacred, and I have been musing a great deal lately about soul rather than spirit. Later:

Monasticism's sublimation; a self-forgetting at those high latitudes, making spirals. The Earth

rotates and orbits. Cf. Peace Pilgrim.

====================================================================

==

Dream Commentary by Nutcracker Date: 96-01-15 17:46:11 EST

Bob:

I love the "Lithuanian Monk" dream. It's so simple and straightforward.

== Comments from Nutcracker on "Lithuanian Monk" by Kenneth ==

A Lithuanian monk is circumnavigating the globe eastwards on foot.

* The journey of life begins with a single step.

He says "When I forget my name I will return."

* When he has seen and done all there is to do, so filled by the experiences that he can't

remember who he is, only then shall he return...to find himself, thereby, coming full circle.

==============================================================

Commentary on Lithuanian Monk Dream by Bob C.

Date: 96-01-18 21:06:36 EST

A monk is an ascetic symbol, as well as a religious/spiritual symbol. Lithuania is a country that

was under foreign domination until the very recent past. It's new independent status is very

young. No one can be sure what the future will hold. Possibly the dreamer is emerging from a

period when he felt he was dominated by someone else. He may be seeking spiritual/emotional

enlightenment, since often "east" connotes gurus and mysticism and "west" connotes pragmatism

and rationalism. "When I forget my name I will return," may symbolize that the dreamer's past

was traumatic and he can't "go home again," (back to the emotional environment where he felt

dominated and controlled. Until he forges a new identity the dreamer does not want to risk

reverting back to the person he was.) If the dreamer disagrees with the above interpretation,

then it is wrong. Only the dreamer knows. Bob C.

========================================================

<My penname is Kenneth>

"Shooting a Book" Fri 12 Jan 1996

Dream: My boss Joe has given me an elaborate pistol to shoot a Hitler biography. I am

standing in a field by Black Mountain Road. I've trouble working the slide of the pistol but I

manage to chamber a round and I shoot the book. Now I think, I can't let the cops find the gun

on me. I'm fearful of traveling to the sea to throw it in, so although people may eventually find it

I just throw it in some bushes.

Interpretation: I'm reading _The Psychopathic God: Adolph Hitler_ by Robert G. Waite.

Perhaps a warning not to be unduly interested in evil? The funeral of Hitler's brother was on

March 30th, and Rudolf Steiner [A/Ru-dolph] died on that date; van Gogh and I share that

birthday. Hitler had one nut and was a nut. Black Mountain has occult significance in this

setting. I don't go to the sea but shirk responsibility by ditching the weapon... Hmmm, what

shadow is this? Shooting a book on evil in a field, unused to firearms... Joe's giving me the

ability, the necessary evil to symbolically assassinate overinterpreted data, to puncture what Jung

termed INFLATION, which was, after all, Hitler's downfall.

Intellect in the service of a soul gone bad. Now there's an object lesson for me. And a sense of

scale. It's all to easy for me to intellectualize; reading about a psychopathic god is in itself

inflation.

Killing evil information.

Background: Joe is my boss and the owner of the bookstore where I work. I've never fired a

gun in a life. I'm reading up on some of the occult background of the Third Reich because I'd

made a facetious comment about Nazi UFOs to a friend; it turns out that some of the Nazi

bigwigs believed in the hollow Earth, among other, more serious irrational things.

--------------------------------------------------------

== Comments from Nutcracker on "Shooting A Book" by Kenneth ==

My boss Joe has given me an elaborate pistol to shoot a Hitler biography.

* My first assumption was that the gun was a camera.

I am standing in a field by Black Mountain Road. I've trouble working the slide of the pistol

but I manage to chamber a round and I shoot the book.

* Dreamer is aware of his surroundings and is familiar with them. He also knows the

workings of a hand gun and does as he was instructed. He can be depended upon to get the job

done. He take orders well.

Now I think, I can't let the cops find the gun on me.

* Has what he has been asked to do morally or ethically wrong?

Is the pistol illegal?

I'm fearful of traveling to the sea to throw it in, so although people may eventually find it I just

throw it in some bushes.

* Dreamer's fear of getting caught appears greater than his fear that some innocent may find

this weapon and do greater harm with it.

========================================================

Commentary on Lithuanian Monk and Hitler's Book by Bob C. 96-01-18 21:06:36 EST

SHOOTING HITLER'S AUTOBIOGRAPHY Hitler was a dictator, with a defined ideology

that he put into practice despite the terrible effect it had on the lives of millions of people. Does

the dreamer have a harsh authority figure in his life who "goes by the book?" Another (more

benign?) authority figure (the boss) gives the dreamer the power (economic power?) to shoot

the book After he does so the dreamer is afraid to be caught by other authority figures (i.e. "the

cops") with the pistol. The dreamer feels shooting the book (rebelling?) is a crime. Yet he

doesn't want to travel to the sea and throw the pistol in the water. Since a sea can symbolize the

subconscious, possibly the symbolism of the part of the dream means that the dreamer does not

want to take a long journey into subconscious guilt. The dreamer, therefore, throws the gun

into some bushes, even though he thinks it will be found. As with the dream of the Lithuanian

Monk, the images seem to connote the dreamer feels controlled, yet has anxiety about assuming

more independence. He wants a confrontation to force his hand.. At the end of the dream the

dreamer "sets himself up" to be found out. He knows by putting the pistol in the bushes it may

well be found, but he risks it, possibly because in real life he wants some kind of confrontation

that will enable everyone to see that he is breaking free of the rules. If the dreamer disagrees

with the above interpretation, then it is wrong. Only the dreamer knows. Bob C.

========================================================

Date: 96-01-15 11:40:02 EST From: JohnJ

"Standing On A Moving Bus In Lima" [dream submitted without a title-ED]

I was standing on a bus, apparently in Lima, when I look up and see that we're catching up to a

small van. Behind the van is an Asian man on a bicycle. I see we're going much faster than the

van and we're going to pinch the man on the bike, but I am too slow in yelling, and we rear end

the van. I am absolutely shocked. The bus keeps moving and I look out the back window at the

man's body in the road. Horrified, I see that he is still alive, even though his head is separated

from his body. But what's worse is that the car behind us does not stop in time, either, and he is

run over again. Finally, the third car parks in front of his body, and the driver gets out.

Watching from the bus, I am completely beside myself with horror. Now for the worst part. A

fourth car, passing all the traffic, cuts in front of the third (parked) car and, passing the parked

car on my left, cuts left too soon and runs over the body a third time. This car does not stop.

Physically, it was a car the likes of which I'd never seen. It looked like a batmobile or

something. And it looked like he'd made a special effort to run the man over.

I turned around and began to yell at the bus driver. I thought it was his fault. I'd seen him in

time to stop if I had been driving. Had he even been looking? But everyone on the bus seemed

to somehow side with the driver. As if the whole thing was no big deal. I couldn't help but

think if I'd yelled at the driver beforehand, the poor man would still be alive.

**

"Julia" [dream submitted without a title]

I was sitting at a table with Julia, a girl I knew very briefly a few years ago, but see every now

and then. I'd first seen her at her violin recital and I asked her out soon after that but she'd had

another recital the next morning and didn't want to go out. We haven't spoken since, for no

particular reason. Which I thought was strange. But I'd heard that about her.

Anyway, she was wearing an unbuttoned white sweater and had a pack of Maverick cigarettes

in her pocket. It was a Mr.Roger's-type sweater, the kind Kurt Cobain used to wear a lot. She

had attractive short hair. I thought of asking her what she was listening to these days.

But I wasn't comfortable near her so I got up in a hurry and went to put on my winter clothes

to leave. If queried, I would say I told my roommates I would cook them dinner and I had to

leave early to do it.

===============================================================

Commentary on John's Julia Dream by BobC Date: 96-01-15 23:38:33 EST

Julia is a person on the periphery of the dreamer's conscious life. He knows her, but not well.

In the dream Julia is wearing a white, unbuttoned sweater. The image is incongruous; the

sweater is white (purity) yet unbuttoned (provocative sexuality). Julia has maverick cigarettes,

which may be a symbol that she is a nonconformist, a person who makes her own rules. The

dreamer things about asking her what she is listening to, but that question may be symbolic of

another question, who is she listening to? Mr. Rogers, the "nice guy," or Kurt Cobain (raw

sexuality, self-destructive). The dreamer feels uncomfortable around Julia. He puts on his winter

clothes (does the dreamer perceive Julia as being emotionally cold to him?) and decides to tell

her, if she asks, that he is cooking for his roommates (i.e. has something cooking with others).

This dream may be symbolic of the dreamer's feeling of isolation in his conscious life. He may

feel members of the opposite sex are sending him mixed messages, and he doesn't know how to

respond. He therefore avoids rejection and/or the possibility of making a wrong response by

escaping from the situation through subterfuge. If the dreamer disagrees with the above

interpretation, then it is wrong. Only the dreamer knows. Bob C.

====================================================================

=======

Subj: New Dream - by rob 2 " A Girl From Spain" Date: 96-01-19 16:58:47 EST

From a new subscriber - R. [Welcome aboard rob 2!-ED]

==== Dream: "A Girl from Spain" by rob 2 ====

before i make my first contribution can i just say that i'm new to the internet and fairly new to

typing and punctuation! so please be indulgent if this turns out to be a bit of a mess

here's a recent dream which i found more amusing than unsettling

i'm in a room in my family home in lancaster (uk)- it's my brother patrick's room, i think. a girl

from spain is staying with us (an exchange student?) she is with me in patrick's room. we are

watching a film on a black and white portable tv. she has long hair, dyed blonde and big eyes

accentuated by black eyeliner. we are getting on well. just before midnight, my mum and dad

sidle into the room (neither of them behaving especially like my mum and dad) my mum tidies

things up around my feet and my dad frowns and beckons me aside. he whispers, rather loudly,

"rob, it's late she has to work tomorrow" i am not impressed and do not reply. "rob, we don't

want another stephanie situation!" i leave the room -the lights go out- i slink back and lead the

spanish girl up to the attic and into my bed-

i embrace her and kiss her gently on the cheeks, forehead, lips and neck. she says "this is

unusual; so much detail" i go on kissing her. she flinches, i draw my head back to study her

whole face for clues- i hold her just as closely. she says "you are kissing another woman" and

pushes herself away from me. she hovers by the top of the stairs, sobbing; "you were with that

stephanie!" i sit up in bed, arms outstretched; "no, i don't want her, i've got over her" i hiss. she

makes a (rather too noisy) descent back to patrick's room

the next morning i go down to the kitchen for breakfast expect- ing a severe row. sure enough,

my dad corners me: "how could you treat her so thoughtlessly? how are we going to explain the

state she's in?" i remain silent, but my mind races, trying to think of a lie that will, (even if only in

part) excuse me. my dad keeps on rebuking me but, when i focus on his words again, i realize

that the rebuke is NOT what i expected: he has assumed that the girl crept up after me, without

any enticement, and is criticising me for throwing her out, hurting her feelings. it astonishes me

that he should come up with this version of events but i do not contradict him.

"what are we going to do, i've made her breakfast but she won't come down for it?!" i am

suddenly forthright: "look dad, i'll sort it out- give me the breakfast and i'll take it up" he hands

me a cereal bowl with some sliced segments of orange and courgette marinated in a very liquid

sauce. i flash him a puzzled look: "is this the right bowl?"- "it's what she's used to" he replies,

unconvincingly. i carry the bowl upstairs and knock on her door...

that's it- a repressed sex dream with comic twists. what i really want to know is who the hell is

stephanie?!

looking forward to replies, love, Rob.

========================================================

Date: 96-01-20 17:23:19 EST From: Shadow

==========Dream: "The Good Shepherd?" by Shadow =========

January 3, 1996

I am in Good Shepherd church (as a child I attended the Catholic elementary school attached

to this church). There is a man with me that I am somehow responsible for. It seems that he is

a prisoner and I am to guard him. Yet as we walk around in the church it is more like we are

good friends. I am showing him how things look different than they did when I went to the

school of the same name that is attached to the church. I tell this man that the church seemed

much larger when I was a child. I kneel down to look at the floor and I see where the different

types of hard woods indicate additions made to the church in the past. There is such a great

degree of detail as I examine the wood floor. It is almost as if I am looking through a

microscope.

We approach the alter. The man is speaking of hidden passages or something. I wonder if

there are any hidden passages in this church. I am filled with a sense of religious/spiritual

wonder. It feels good to visit this church where I spent so much time as a child.

Now I am outside in a campground. There are trees all around. I am waiting for this same

man to return from somewhere. I am standing in a campsite. There is a tent, picnic table, and

camp gear. The man has taken our truck wherever he went. I see him approaching. It looks

like he has a woman with him in the truck. The thought occurs to me that he was out to

"pick-up" a woman.

Now I am in the dining room of the adult psychiatric unit where I work. The man is there too.

He sits at a table with a group of six or eight patients. It not until now that I see he is a patient.

He is talking about his new pick-up truck, which is the same one I saw in the previous section of

this dream. He describes it as one of the new Dodge Ram trucks with the stream-lined front

quarter panels. He then starts talking about the engine. He spouts a line of technical data which

I do not comprehend. I interrupt to ask if it has one of the really big ten cylinder engines. The

man replies, "I just told you. Didn't you hear?" I am afraid to admit that I did not understand so

I just say, "Oh, right." The dream ends here.

========================================================

Date: 96-01-20 22:30:01 EST From: Shadow

========Dream: "Trouble Under the Mall" by Shadow========

I am in a weird mall with my father and Zach, my five month old son. We are shopping, well

really we're just walking around. Zach is lying in a shopping cart. After we hit a "dead end"

with no stores that look any good I say to Dad, "Let's just go." Right before we leave Dad sees a

sign that says that the mall has a Sam's wholesale club. He wants to go so we walk to some

escalators. We step on one that looks like is going up, but instead it curves up and then down.

It goes rather quickly, which is somewhat unsettling. Once at the bottom we get off and walk

into the store. I don't think we shopped for long before we got in line near the elevators to go

up. Now there are more than just Zach, Dad, and me. My father-in-law is there too. I think

mother-in-law as well and maybe some other family members. I walk past a security guard that

is standing at the front of the line. Once inside the elevator I try to hold the doors, but no one is

coming forward to get on. The doors shut and the elevator goes up from 3 to 4. I keep pressing

the buttons until I get it to go back down. The elevator starts going up and down, but doesn't

stop on either floor. Finally it stops between floors. The doors open and there is a security

guard that asks me to get off the elevator. When I do so I see that I am underneath the mall,

which now seems more like a city. In fact I am kind of suspended on a ledge and must climb

down on some pipes quite a way just to reach the floor. Just before my feet touch the floor I

notice that I am stocking footed and on the floor is scatted puddles of urine that have dripped

from the ends of the pipes that I used to climb down. In addition that is some crumbly debris of

some sort that looks like gravel of some kind of insulation. This floor area is absolutely HUGE!

It is gigantic!!! The distance between the floor and the Ceiling, or underside of the city/mall, is

immense as well! To my right, pretty far off, I see a man with a broom. I approach him and ask,

"How do I get back up there?", pointing with my finger. At this point I am upset at being

separated from Zach. The man replies, "I'm just a janitor. I don't know how to get up there."

He smiles at me. He seems to be sort of simple. Off to the right I hear a dull "THUD". I look to

see a large row of windows. they are either dirty or tinted but I can see that there are people I

know on the other side trying to break the windows so that they can get to me or that I can get

out. The windows, however, do not break from the outside. I walk to the windows. I pick up

something (an old chair or a pipe perhaps) and throw it into one of the windows. The window

breaks and I climb out onto a grassy area.. I see that it is some kind of ledge that is fifty to one

hundred feet wide. I do not approach the edge, but I just know that it is a drop off into an

endless blue abyss with white fluffy clouds. To the one end of the grassy area is an old cinder

block garage. I climb up onto the roof of this building. From there I can see that a large group

of people are running toward the windows from the inside. I think that they are after me. A

window breaks just above the roof and a woman climbs through. She one of the group that is

after me. She lies down on the roof. There seems to be someone else with me that came from

the grassy area, but I cannot see who they are, or even whether this person is man or woman.

The three of us are talking. The whole time I am snapping off the ends of branches of bushes

and tress that overhang the roof. I take each of these and rub the ends against the skin of the

woman. I know that somewhere there is a substance that will burn her skin and I need to find

this weapon. Finally, for what reason I do not know, I spit on the exposed skin of her arm. She

pulls her arm away in pain. I have found my weapon! I spit on her several more times; each

time she cringes from the pain. Finally I work up a good mouth full of spit, which seems terribly

hard since my mouth is especially dry, and spit right in her face. She cries out from the pain,

which is not life-threatening, but seems significant nonetheless.

========================================================

Date: 96-01-20 22:43:46 EST From: Shadow

=====Dream: "Deranged Derailment" by Shadow=========

I am riding in a train engine with my mother driving. As we come into a large train yard she is

going to fast and nearly rear-ends the train on the track in front of us. Just before we hit the

train she turns onto a track to our left. There is actually a steering wheel like in an automobile.

The train moves onto the other track. She continues to go too fast. I notice ahead of us the

track is getting smaller and smaller. There is thick grass, which obscures visibility. Directly

ahead now is a small river. Instead of going to the left, where the track leads, my mother goes

straight and the train jumps the track. It quickly sinks into the thick grass and topples over onto

its side.

Now I am standing over the train, which is just a model train engine laying in the grass. I pick

it up and walk back over to the rail yard, which is a large model train set-up. I see where we left

the yard and try to get the train going there again. But there is a problem, the track just stops at

a steep incline. This incline looks like it could be a wooden railing or banister for a staircase. It

is as if this whole elaborate set-up is inside a large house. I try to attached a piece of track to the

railing, but I am having difficulty doing so. I am getting frustrated. I notice that my

father-in-law is off to the side. I consider asking for his help or advice, but I do not do so. The

dream ends here.

Before going to bed I caught a short news story on a massive train derailment that involved one

train rear-ending another train.

=====Dream: "Le Woodchuck" by Shadow================

I am in France on the campus of some large University. I am unsure of where to go. I think I

am looking for the admissions office or the registration office. I look all around me. I see a

glass enclosed area on the front of a brick building. There is some silver lettering on the building

identifying it, but I cannot read it. I do not know if it is French or if I just can't read (a common

occurrence in my dreams). I open a door and enter the glass enclosed area. I find that there are

perhaps a dozen people sitting around waiting. It seems that these people are waiting to register

for classes. I sit down on a bench and wait too. While we are waiting I try to teach these

people, who are French speaking, to do the old "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck

if...." tongue twister. It is kind of annoying when everyone gets stuck on the word "chuck".

They get to the first occurrence of the word and then just repeat it over and over again. It is at

this point that I notice my wife is with me. She elbows me and whispers that I am embarrassing

her in front of all these people. It is also at this time that a woman with dark hair off to my right

starts making a really odd sound. She is trying to "meow" like a cat, but is not even close. I find

it a little odd that she is trying to "meow" when we are all doing a little ditty about a

woodchuck. Anyway I try to "meow" a couple of times for her so that she gets the idea of how

to do it.

===========Dream: "Me and My (Younger) Shadow" by Shadow=============

I am in a hallway in the upstairs of large house. I am both my adult self and myself as a young

child. For some reason I am to take an injection of some sort of medication. I don't remember

the name of the medication, but I do remember that the amount was 10 mg. It seems like I take

the injection, but at the same time my niece, who is just over a year old, is there and she is sick

because she somehow got a hold of the needle and took the injection as well. There are many

people around now. A nurse is there and she says that the "counterbalance" for the medication

is 20 mg of "Prevarin". Despite the "counterbalance" my niece still dies. I do not feel very upset

at this. Instead I am beginning to see the oddity of me being two different ages at once.

====================================================================

===

Date: 96-01-21 03:41:32 EST From: Kenneth

"Overnighting" Wed 17 Jan

A petite female friend and I are overnighting in a lovely house on a hill. There are no houses

immediately around, but in the near distance I can see the urban sprawl, including a McDonalds.

The question of our making love comes up. We decide not to, for it would ruin our friendship

-we couldn't "just have" sex and remain unchanged. Later when she's asleep I leave her a note

on the back of [my business card] to wake me if I'm called in the morning, being careful not to

let the light disturb her.

Interpretation: Another generic anima-figure, as it were, just a tad more distinctive: we are in

friendly and thoughtful relationship. A vacation in a home-on-a-hill is a nice piece of

understanding, above for the nonce from the hugger-mugger. (The H. G. Wells character in

"Time After Time" calls McDonald's "The Scottish place" and pompously proclaims free love

and is deflated.) I'm on the right track; I'm not confusing an anima-figure with a love. So -who

calls?

--------------------------------------------------------

"She-Bear" Thu 18 Jan

I am hiking with a female companion in a dark wood when we come upon two bear-cubs.

Which immediately puts us in a quandary: where to go so we won't come across the mother

bear? We've four directions and I choose one.

I am alone on a tier of an open sandstone pit. There are four caves, one at each quarter. I

carefully explore the I [sic] find myself in with my failing flashlight to ensure that the mother

bear isn't asleep deep within; I wish I'd replaced the batteries. I'll be caming [sic] her overnight.

Interpretation, Fri 19 Jan: A Dantean beginning and more overnighting. The female companion

is symbolic and not differentiated or personalized__ not yet, anyway. The two bear-cubs are my

counterparts to [my friend's] two dryads or fairies in the workshop. Young. Primeval.

Potential trouble! Handle with care and respect. Like U. S. Grant, I don't go whence I came, I

don't backtrack. That safe path (no mama-bear) would be retrogressive. But I have lost my

companion, my Virgil or Beatrice or...?

From that quaternary quandary to a corner of a three-dimensional mandala. My decision has for

now fixed a position for me in a deeper situation. I'm in one corner of a mandala, and this time I

carefully check out the circumstances beforehand. Wise move!

She-bear. Mom and Dad. Sometimes you eat the bear, and sometimes the bear eats you.

Sandstone. Yellow-brown ur-stuff. At least I'm not walking widdershins!

========================================================

Date: 96-01-21 03:32:10 EST From: Kenneth

T. H. Lawrence. Wed 3 Jan 1996

I have just taken part in some schoolboy project in a playing field. Walking back to the

complex with me a woman who isn't very pretty (but whom I nonetheless find attractive). She

asks me who T. H. Lawrence was. I'm surprised, for I'd thought that everyone knew about him,

if only from the movie. I tell her that he was a famous guerilla leader whose works were still in

print, that he'd chopped up the Turks' railroad and then the Turks, and he was a very strange

individual, an enigma.

Interpretation: The woman recalls the acromegalic record store clerk, ugly-beautiful and

attractive, not another pretty face, and a very brown-eyed girl. Here and in real life an anima

figure, and even more an individual in her own right, friendly... Congeniality, honesty and a

certain intensity are the soul-qualities I most esteem in people. Philos? I hope so! Lawrence

was asexual; Turing homosexual; I am heterosexual.

Interpretation, Fri 19 Jan: Apparently there's a conflating of T. E. Lawrence the adventurer

and D. H. Lawrence the novelist. I believe Lawrence of Arabia is meant; D. H. Lawrence was no

ascetic, so he's the Dionysian aspect brought in unseen and acknowledged by me__ Dionysian

revelry, Dionysius cut up (the Turks) and resurrected, Dionysius in contradistinction to the

Apollonian Lawrence of Arabia.

Two extremes.

==== Dream : "Scourge of my planet" by JJ ======

Date sent: Wed, 24 Jan 1996 14:24:28 -0500 (EST)

My manager had parked his van far from work, and I had gone to move it. When I was in the

van it was more like a motor home, but it was a bit like an old person's motor home, and it had

pictures of old people on the wall. When I was in one room of the motor home, I saw that it

overlooked a canal, much like the ones in Ft.Lauderdale. The room had an opening that spanned

the length of the wall at its bottom. It was about two feet tall, so I sat on my haunches to look

out at the adjacent canal. It was then that I saw a black man walking under water. I

remembered a radio bit I'd heard about people walking under water to better surprise their

mugging victims.

**

I was somewhere in Harvard Square. A political personage had organized a meeting of some

kind, and I was not sure I was in the right place. For one thing, it seemed I was the first person

from my organization to arrive, and for another, it seemed like an independent living group at

Harvard. It had characteristics of my own fraternity, and the people who lived there seemed to

be good friends.

As I was about to leave, the personage showed up. So did Chris S., a brother from my

fraternity, in crutches. Everyone settled for the meeting to begin, and it began. It was then that

I learned the purpose of the meeting was to introduce the brothers of the MIT chapter to those

of the Harvard chapter. But the Harvard "chapter" was not really a chapter, they had banned

fraternities in 1951. What was left of my fraternity at Harvard was more of a club.

Someone of significance in the Harvard organization began a ritual. It was a very strange ritual

and I thought it suited the supercilious aura of the school very well. Sitting at an end of a table,

under lights, on my right (on my left is my father) the person begins to smell brown sugar out of

a silver bowl. We are all watching. As he inhales the vapor of the sugar, he smiles, then inhales

some more. I look at the sugar, and it is diminishing, but in such a way that it might be burning.

It even makes a low volume sound.

As the man smiles and inhales more and more, people in the room begin to chuckle. I am

uncomfortable, but do not interrupt the ritual.

==== Dream : "Huecos" by JJ ====

Date: 24 Jan 1996 14:35:27 GMT

A man who lived close by had come to my friend Oscar's apartment to recover some things he

left on the window sill when he'd lived there previously. They were decorative painted pottery

and they looked like what are pronounced "huecos" (holes) but are old Incan pottery. These

were obviously not authentic huecos. But the man said that it was gold paint on them, and he

wanted them back. This was a little upsetting, since firstly they were obviously lead painted (one

even had a brass top which could not be mistaken for gold) and secondly, I didn't think Oscar

should have to give them up.

This had all taken place outside of the apartment, on a patio of some kind where I noticed there

was also a bike. But as I looked closer, it was not a bike, but a motorcycle, and it needed some

work. In fact, the wheels were not on it, and the wheels that were near did not have inner tubes.

I sent Oscar upstairs to turn on the 4th floor lights, or ask whoever was living there to turn them

on, because I'd accidently put something on the 4th floor window sill thinking it was his

apartment, and now I needed it back. Oscar ran upstairs and turned on the third floor lights first,

and then went up to the fourth floor. I couldn't remember what it was I'd put on the window sill,

though.

========================================================

Nutcracker Suite V

=== Dream: "You Never Have A Chainsaw When You Need One" by Nutcracker ===

I was at my father's home. I went outside and noticed that one of the large trees out back had

fallen over and the roots were partially exposed the entire length of the yard. It had created

quite a mess. I went inside to call the neighbors to see if they were finished using my chainsaw.

There was no answer. I went back outside and thought I saw them driving away in their new

white car. I went over to look at the tree again. Could it be wrenched back into place? And if

so, would we have to stake it into place? Or would it be better to just cut it down and make fire

wood out of it? I tried to picture the yard without it. There were enough other trees that it

wouldn't be missed. Without the use of my chainsaw I started cleaning up the mess around the

tree. I pulled up some of the exposed roots by hand. Some of them ran 15'. (1/3/96)

(I would like comments on the following dream if possible. This is a dream I remember having

several years ago, before I started keeping a dream journal. I had it again this morning. Thanks.

NC)

=== Dream: "The Secret Place" by Nutcracker ===

I was a teenager. I was walking along a field with a friend when he said, "Come on. I want to

show you something." We walked through the field and up a small hill, having to duck under

rusty barbed wire fences and climbing over dead trees that were now just logs. We came to a

clearing that was pristine. It reminded me of a Monet. He would have loved to have painted this

place. The tranquility was overwhelming. It washed over me like a spring shower. The sun,

warm against my skin. The animals gathered about us; not attacking or running from us. We

could co-exist naturally. Why can't we as humans do the same? My friend went off by himself.

I found myself drawn to the pond. It was a haven for dragonflies. They flitted about, the sun

glistening off the colors of their iridescent wings. I was at peace here. The water, calm and

clear, I walked out onto the stepping stones that led across the pond. There were lilies and lily

pads. This was a magical place; I didn't want to leave. My friend soon returned. "Come," he

said, "we have to go." There was an urgency to his statement. I knew we had to be home by a

certain time, but what, I wondered, happened here after dark? Was it wondrous by day and evil

by night? I vowed to come back here again soon. (1/3/96)

=== Dream: "The Happy Meal Prize" by Nutcracker ===

I had gone with my neighbors to deliver some of their old office equipment to someone who

purchased it from them. Jack loaded it into his new car and off we went. The place was close

(less than a block from Jack's house). I wondered what possessed him to move next to a place

like this? We pulled into the parking lot. There was a metal garage and dozens of old cars;

1960's Chevy's and Cadillacs, the kind with the big fins on back. I said, "B. would love to see

these." His wife and I went inside and held the door open for Jack, who was loading the

equipment onto a dolly. After we left there, we went to McDonald's. I got my usual *Happy

Meal* and the toy/prize was a quilt. I opened it to its full size. It was very large (and adorable).

It had an ecru background with Ronald McDonald in the center. Surrounding him were all of the

other McDonald's characters. It was edged in a forest green ruffle. I thought, surely a *prize*

of this magnitude must be a mistake, but as we left, I noticed a sign posted near the door. It

read: Exclusively at the 'Elinor Richfield' McDonald's, a free quilt with every Happy Meal

purchase. I must come back and get two more. I wanted to give them to my nieces, Alyse and

Kayla for Christmas. (1/3/96)

=== Dream: "The Lido" by Nutcracker ===

I was in Europe by myself. Earlier in the day I had seen a sneak preview of the dailies of a

movie they were filming there. Now, later that evening, I was outside, sitting in the balcony of a

cafe, watching them re-shoot some of the stunt scenes. The stunts were exciting and dangerous.

The first stunt had Ron Howard (Director) jumping to the neck of this neon guitar that was lying

flat, but that was swinging back and forth. He jumped right when the neck was moving away

from him, but he managed to land safely in spite of that. There were already some guys on the

guitar (he was the last to jump). All of their eyes were as big as saucers, surprised that he made

it. Everyone breathed a collective sigh of relief. Next, a flamenco dancer, wearing a black

velvet suit trimmed in gold braid and sequins was dancing to the edge of the building (three

stories up). He was about a foot away from the edge, when I thought, surely he'll stop now, but

he continued to the very edge, leaning over it. Soon he was flailing his arms about, trying to

regain his balance. I let out a long scream. Then I turned to the people behind me and said,

"Did I just do that out loud?" They nodded and looked at me like I was nuts. I thought for sure

the guy was going to fall. I didn't see any trick wires attached to him. Then I heard two girls

behind me saying they wanted to go over to a place called the Paris Preview. I was at the

outside rail of the balcony. They leaned over and on top of me to find its location. I was face

down in my table. "Do you mind," I said. One of them pointed, "It's over there." I could see it

too. It was all glass and glitter with the letters, PP intertwined in gold on the sidewalk. Then

they began debating whether or not they should walk over or take a taxi. "Its across the street

for god's sake," I screamed in my head. What's to decide! After leaving there, I went to see a

show myself. Some woman came out on stage and introduced Angela Lansbury (Murder She

Wrote). She (AL) was wearing a skin-tight-gold-patent-leather-to-the-floor dress. Her boobs in

this dress looked much like the shape of wooden shoes - curved on top, rounded on the bottom;

which in and of itself looked great. I should hope to look that good when I reach her age. But

seeing the dress was of a pre-molded format, couldn't they have raised her boobs up a little

higher? (1/3/96)

=== Dream: "Gang Banger" by Nutcracker ===

I belonged to a gang. We were hiding out in an apartment when we realized that the cops were

on to us. For days we didn't leave or enter the place. I couldn't stand the waiting. When I was

sure no one was watching I went in. One of my cohorts had left a package outside the door; a

suitcase. I had no idea what was in it, it could have been a body or money. I didn't care. I took

it inside with me. (12/28/95)

=== Dream: "Why?" by Nutcracker ===

I lived with my husband in a three story, nearly wall-to-wall glass house. I was home one day,

just doing house stuff. I was on the second floor near the bar/piano. I had just taken my shoes

off when for a strange reason, I wondered if I was alone in the house. I started downstairs when

I saw a friend of my husband's come out of a room. He was over often, so I really thought

nothing

of it. I said, "Oh hi, (Bill, Tom, Jim)," whatever his name was. "I'll be right back. I'm going

out to get the mail." I don't know what possessed me, but I had this urge to run at that moment

(fight or flight). I started running as soon as I got outside, with him in pursuit. I ran past three

couples coming from the tennis courts. "Help, help," I screamed. They went inside the club

house, ignoring

my pleas. I yelled at one of the women, "Nancy, call 911. Call 911." I peered up into a house

on the hill and saw my husband in the window, watching. A sick feeling came over me. The guy

caught up to me. I started beating on him, hitting and kicking. He slugged me in the face, over

and over again until every bone was broken. Why did he (my husband) do this? Did he not

want other men looking at me? (12/28/95)

=== Dream: "The Interloper" by Nutcracker ===

I was home alone, or so I thought. I had fallen asleep upstairs in the study. I saw a light from

down the hall. From beneath the door I could see someone's feet. Whoever it was, was wearing

blue jeans and sandals. I had to get out of the house. As I reached the staircase, through a

crack in the door I could see this person rifling through my files. What could I have that would

be so important? I tiptoed down the stairs. Near the bottom there is a butcher knife stuck in

one of the steps. I pull it out, wondering if there are other people in the house. Then I notice

the body of a woman lying at the foot of the stairs. She'd been stabbed and of course, I've just

picked up the murder weapon. I have to get out of here. I pick up the cordless phone and dial

911 (I don't speak). I leave the phone in the kitchen, hoping they'll send the police to check it

out. I go over to my neighbors to wait. (1/4/96)

= Dream: "Church Is Now Open For Business" by Nutcracker =

My neighbor, Boots, had asked me to drive over to her church with her. "Sure, why not," I

said. We arrived and I was surprised to say the least. Here stood this gothic cathedral - how

come I had never noticed it before? We drove around back and parked in the courtyard. There

were only a few cars there. We got out of the car and I said to her, "I'm barefoot, can I still go

in?" "Yes, there's no one here but the cleaning women." As we turned to go inside I noticed a

small store attached to or built into one of the ells of the church. It was made out of barnwood

and field stone and had 12 paned windows. "Is this the general store you keep telling me

about?" "Yes." I couldn't wait to see it. It looked so quaint. Visions of penny candy danced in

my head. We went in through a side door that led to a vestibule between the church and the

store. There were items for sale out here as well. Boots found some shoes. "I just bought a

pair of these last week. Now they're 20% off the sale price. I'm buying two more pairs." I

looked at the shoes as well; not intending to buy, but to wear while in the church. I found a pair

of tan colored pumps and put them on. I then noticed they had white bras and undies for sale

too. How strange they would sell these items in a church. Boots took me inside the church. I

wonder if I need to remove my sunglasses (I hate to have people stare me directly in the eyes.

Besides, with my glasses on, I feel invisible). I guess it would be impolite not to remove them in

a place of worship, so I take them off. As all gothic cathedrals go, it was long and narrow. This

one had three chambers connected via arched doorways. Also, there were about 2000 people

inside. We thought the place would be empty. We made our way along the rear wall. Passing

by all these people, I couldn't help noticing how many really attractive men there were, not that I

could ever speak to any of them. I'm too shy and would be embarrassed to death. There was a

man wearing a khaki army uniform walking down the aisle towards us. He mouthed the words,

"I could make you very happy," to me. Then he smiled. He was attractive, but the shape of his

head annoyed me. It was just too square or something. Boots and I found a corner to retreat to

even though it was SRO. We were joined by my sister, Sue and my brother, Jon. Out of the

blue, Sue yells, "There's a nice looking guy over here wearing Marine fatigues (meaning my

brother)." Then she, Boots and I fell to the floor, laughing like fools. I was sure that my brother

would be mad, but he laughed too, even making a funny comment of his own. As we sat there

on the floor, I had almost forgotten that I had borrowed shoes on. I could just see me wearing

them home and having to ask Boots to take them back to the church, but now that I was aware

of them I could just put them back, even though the soles had a small amount of wear and tear

on them from walking across the marble floors. (1/4/96)

[Here's the latest batch! Told Richard I was so bored the other night I counted the number of

dreams I had in 1995 (dreams I could recall anyway). The grand total was 587. There's got to

be an easier way to get some sleep!]

=== Dream: "AHS" by Nutcracker ===

(A recurring dream): I'm back in high school, the old school, before the new one was built.

I'm trying to get into my locker, but can't get it open. I go and ask someone for the combination

and then go back to my locker to get my books for class. The hall to my locker is blocked off

and I can't get to it. Now I have to walk around the entire first and second floors of the school

to reach my locker from the other side. I barely make it to history class. When class is done I

leave and go outside. There are a bunch of people playing games (with a ball). There is snow

moving equipment in the school yard. I forget that there's a basketball game and go change into

my cheerleading uniform. After the game I walk downtown to do some shopping. Some friends

with a car stop and pick me up. (1/8/96)

COMMENTS: What triggered my recalling the above dream was something my neighbor said

about having had a dream about her high school locker.

=== Dream: " Bullets & Calendar Boys" by Nutcracker ===

I was in a house with this guy and his family (Italian mobsters). I was afraid someone in his

immediate family was going to kill him. He had a gun, but I didn't know if he had enough

bullets. He was in another room talking with someone. I began searching his suite for extra

bullets. I climbed up on a chair to look through the cupboards which extended to the ceiling. I

found a gold metal box full of bullets. Just as I take them down, his mother comes in looking for

something. She finds it. It's a key, but to what? I can see my friend through a glass partition at

the top of the cupboard. I try to show him that I found the bullets, but his mom is watching me.

She leaves and he comes back into the room. He grabs a towel and goes to take a shower.

Now I have the gun and he has become the 'bad guy'. I wonder if I should just shoot him

through the bathroom door. My hair is lathered up with shampoo. I see a calendar of him lying

on the bed. There's a different picture of him for every month. I run my hands through my hair

and wipe the soap off on each picture, ruining the calendar. (1/8/96)

== Dream: "9 Out of 10 Dentists Recommend..." by Nutcracker ==

I was brushing my teeth; not with a tooth brush, but more like a (baby) bottle brush shaped like

a Christmas tree. The bristles were long and far apart. My gums were bleeding because I was

scratching them with the wire (in the middle) that held the brush together. (1/9/96)

=== Lucid Dream: "Encroachment" by Nutcracker ===

I was in bed. I had the covers pulled loosely over my head. I wasn't fully asleep nor fully

awake. I thought that I could feel a hand on the top of my head, grabbing my hair, but then

believed I was imagining it. This feeling kept growing stronger. Now I could sense the person's

other hand creeping under the covers, to what? Molest me? "B. is that you?" I asked calmly.

"Yes," came the answer. But I knew it wasn't. I threw back the covers to find a kid (about 20).

"You're not B. and for me to do anything (sexual) with you, you'd have to at least be my age," I

said. I pushed him to the floor and jumped on top of him, straddling his body. "Put your hands

under your butt (I don't want his hands to be free)." I held them to his sides with my legs. He

managed to get free anyway. (This is when I woke up and opened my eyes. It was still dark in

the room, yet I could see pictures of weird and strange things; monsters and a boy who appeared

to be running from something. His eyes were wide as saucers and his mouth was open as if

screaming. I had to shut my eyes to make the images go away.) (1/9/96)

=== Dream: "Friend or Foe" by Nutcracker ===

I was with some guy (I don't remember if he was my friend, or if I was his prisoner). We were

walking and came to this hill. We were at the top of it. I laid down on the ground and rolled to

the bottom of the hill. I was worried that I might get hurt, hit my head on a rock or something,

but I didn't. "Try it, it's fun," I yelled up to him. (1/9/96)

=== Dream: "The Block House" by Nutcracker ===

I was driving home with someone and made a left turn down this dirt road with weeds growing

in it (it seemed to be Arizona type terrain). To the right, as I turned, was an adobe style house.

It looked like four blocks of varying heights connected together. There was some fancy detail at

the very top which ran around the entire house. There was a foreign word for its design which

meant 'square'. (1/9/96)

=== Dream: "More Mayhem - Pt 3" by Nutcracker ===

There were two guys with long, sharp knives. They were on their way out of the room.

Someone said to them as they were leaving, "Make sure she talks first." What did he mean?

Before they killed her? (1/9/96)

=== Dream: "Rock 'N Roll" by Nutcracker ===

In a college setting, I was either in a dorm or a music conservatory. There's a guy two feet

from me who's unpacking suitcases full of stereo equipment, tapes, etc. As he's unpacking, he's

recording a tape. I myself am trying to find which records I want to record from. I have some

45's (they're from the present, not old ones). I find one, but it doesn't say who the artist is or the

song title, yet I keep returning to this one in particular. I remove it from the jacket sleeve and I

can just barely make out the song and artist. On a white background in the palest shade of blue

is printed, 'Deep Blue Something'. I set it aside and try to find a blank tape to record on. I go to

a cupboard behind me (it's my designated space), next to the guy who's unpacking. "Are these in

your way?" he asks, moving his suitcases. (1/9/96)

=== Dream: "The Favor" by Nutcracker ===

I'm in an unfamiliar part of town where I meet my friend Nancy and her friend Jeannie. We're

at an outside cafe, sitting at a picnic table. Nancy wanted a favor from me. I was coming down

with a cold and kept sniffling. She said that she and Jeannie were going somewhere that evening

and Jeannie was going to drive them. They wanted me, sometime after midnight, to meet them

on Broadway so I could pick up Nancy (Jeannie would take her half way home and then I would

take her the rest of the way). I grumbled a bit, my cold worsening with each passing minute.

Grumbling, not that I wasn't happy to do Nancy a favor, but because I get lost pulling out of my

own driveway. "I don't know where that is (Broadway)," I said. "Is that between Dallas and Ft

Worth? We don't have any maps at home. May I have this one?" They seemed irritated by my

requesting their map. By this time I could barely breathe due to my cold. Nancy also wanted

me to stop (on the way to pick her up) at two car dealerships and test drive some cars for her.

One place was a Chevy dealer. She wanted me to check out a Camaro. I guess she'd given up

on the idea of ever finding a '66 Mustang. She was mentioning the name of the second place,

but the more she talked, the more deaf I became. After the two of them left, I went to use the

bathroom. It was a busy place and when I came out to wash my hands, there were two men in

there as well. One lady walking out commented, "What? Are we becoming European now

(different sex bathrooms)?" (1/9/96)

=== Dream: "Does This Street Go To?" by Nutcracker ===

I had gone to a restaurant where I met my sister and brother. My sister was going to ride

home with me. We got into my car, a brand new emerald green jaguar. At the same time, the

people parked next to me were also leaving. They had an old, beat up, rusty car. I let them

back out first (and prayed they wouldn't hit me). I held my breath. The driver was only inches

away from ripping off the passenger side of my car. Once they were out of the way, I backed

out directly into the street (as opposed to driving out head first). I wasn't familiar with this

street and wondered if I could just drive around the block to get where I needed to be (which

was one block over). The streets were hand paved with red bricks and very hilly. We drove

down the street and another car followed me. We got to the bottom of the hill. It became a

dead end at some warehouse apartments. Now we need to back up the entire street to the to the

top of the hill (and hope no one else is coming down it). I yelled to the old lady in the car behind

me, "It's a dead end street. You have to back up." She said something in Italian to the other

person in her car, throwing her hands in the air. (1/10/96)

("to sleep, perchance to sleep"- Nutcracker)

=== Dream: "Bookshelf Of Ideas" by Nutcracker ===

There was a bookshelf and on it were different items for creating various plots for novel

writing. I was working on a book with someone and said, "Why don't we invent a new rock

band (to incorporate into the story)." We already have one band, why not give them some

competition? (960111)

=== Dream: "Be Still My Heart" by Nutcracker ===

A group of us had gone to a lodge for the weekend. There were Gillian Anderson (Dana

Scully/X-Files), David Duchovny (Fox Mulder/X-Files), my brother Bob, my dad, my friend

Nancy, myself and some others. Gillian was sitting on the couch reading a book. I sat down

next to her and began telling her how much I enjoyed the cockroach episode a few weeks back

and that it was on a par with The Rocky Horror Picture Show for being camp. Then I started

regaling her with my favorite lines from the show, especially those regarding references to

Bambi. (BAMBI?) My favorite was Fox's metaphor for the federal government (i.e.

cockroaches). But the coup de gras (an inside joke) was of course Scully's reading Breakfast At

Tiffany's (which is the question David had missed on celebrity Jeopardy, which we all found hard

to believe, his being an English lit major and all), while Fox keeps calling her on the phone

wanting to know about such and such. I said to her, your character reading BAT was so

hysterical. Just then David came over and I repeated that I found her reading BAT on the show

to be extremely funny. He grinned. I guess himself not believing he had missed such an easy

question. I then told Gillian not to do anything to her hair. "Those idiots on the internet don't

know what they're talking about. Your hair looks great." Then we all decided to go to another

part of the lodge (another building). David was still with us and I cupped his face in my hands

and said, "There are women who would kill to do what I've just done to you." Then I took him

by the hand and made him come along. Several of us stopped in his room on the way and we

heard a noise. David said, "Hold on to something." It turns out his bedroom was right next to

the ice machine and the bed began bouncing up and down like a bucking bronco. We all told

him he should ask for a different room, but it didn't seem to bother him. We all then went to the

den in the lodge. I got up to get a beer and asked if anyone else wanted anything. Nancy and

David each wanted one. I passed my brother Bob on the way. I also spotted my dad having a

conversation with a lady I had never seen before. I got to the refrigerator and had to step over

Nancy's purse (more like a duffel bag). Why would she leave it out here where someone could

steal it? I flung it over my shoulder to take to her and grabbed 3 beers. On my way back to the

others, David walked up beside me and said, "I know you were here last night." Meaning what?

I should/could have spent the night with him? Was he teasing me? I gave Nancy her beer and

purse and then we went back to his room, just the two of us, in love. We had stripped to our

undies and were fooling around when my aunt joined us. She's a queen and was transferring all

of her power and jewelry to me. She's dressed very beautifully. She's got a small white ermine

cape/collar which is held shut by a multi- jeweled clasp. "I don't want that," I said, as she began

removing the clasp. Like I need something that large hanging from my already ample bosom.

Then David and I began playing grab ass, chasing each other around the room. My aunt told us

to behave (at least while she was there), threatening to show David nude pictures of me in some

magazine. She began tearing them out of the magazine and handing him the pages. "No don't!"

I shrieked. Then I said, "If you tear one of his pictures out I'll have to kill you," jokingly, of

course (DD had also done a nude spread...no pun intended). As my aunt was about to leave, I

told her to take her wedding rings with her. I looked for them in the pile of jewels she had left.

My uncle had given them to her and I felt she should keep them. After she had gone, David and

I lay in bed. "Hold on," he said. The ice machine kicked in and the bed began bouncing. In

fact, it bounced me right off the bed. How can he sleep in here, I wondered? But sleep was the

last thing on my mind. I couldn't wait to feel his body against mine. (960112)

=== Dream: "Nice of You To Offer, But..." by Nutcracker ===

I had gone to visit my brother and his wife. They wanted to drive somewhere for the weekend

and had talked to a friend who said we could stay at his cabin. We got there late at night. We

came in through the back door, and it's a good thing...the owner was asleep in front of the front

door. We didn't know he would be here. The next day more people showed up (his relatives).

People were talking, eating and drinking. The host came over and introduced himself to me.

"Hi, I'm Bob's sister," I said. I was trying to watch TV, but there was a lady sitting in front of

me who would invariably move her chair, blocking my view, every time I moved mine. Finally, I

was up against the wall and could barely see around her. As the weekend came to an end, Bob,

Judy and I were the last to leave. I went to help Judy as she made the bed. They had been

sleeping on a small bed in the living room. It had an antique quilt on it; a white background with

various light pastel yellow colored patches. The colors were sunny and it made me smile just to

look at it. Then Judy left some host/hostess gifts on the bed. Should I have gotten some too? I

could always send something later, after we get back home, I reminded myself. (960112)

=== Dream: "Dance Fever" by Nutcracker ===

I was at a bar and there was a dance contest going on. I was sitting alone, against the back

wall behind the stage. To my right, on a six foot raised platform was more seating. This is

where anyone with a camera sat. As a result, I had light bulbs flashing in my face all night long.

I had to sit with my hand shading my eyes so that I could see the dancers. Although I swear,

this one particular guy kept taking my picture intentionally. (960112)

=== Dream: "Let Go Of My Disk" by Nutcracker ===

I had tried to put a disk into the A drive of my computer, but there was already one in it. I

removed it and the entire disk drive popped out with it, literally falling apart in my hands. I

shoved it back in as best I could and inserted another disk. Then I discovered I had put in the

wrong disk and pushed the button to remove it, but it wouldn't come out. It was stuck.

(960112)

=== Dream: "The Infestation" by Nutcracker ===

B. and I were lying in bed when he got up to get dressed. As I lay there I notice a part of the

ceiling looks to be hanging lower than the rest of it. It looks like that spray foam insulation they

now use when building new houses. I pointed it out to B. He took a piece of cardboard and I

took a putty knife and we started scraping it off so it would be flush with the ceiling. Bugs

started falling out of the cracks. Scraping away even more, I discovered a small, cast iron wood

stove behind the sheetrock. The stove was full of insects and what appeared to be sea type

creatures. There was an orange/black/red/white spider crab that started crawling across the

floor. The right side of the stove was clean and the left had ash residue inside it. There were

also two pitchforks with their handles broken off, inside the stove. (960113)

= Dream: "I Don't Need No Stinkin' SCUBA Gear" by Nutcracker =

I was given the secret to breathing underwater without using an apparatus of any sort. As I

was a reporter, this came in handy because I could hide and spy on people for my stories,

especially my foes. Having this secret also made a person able to hide in very small, tight

spaces. I was in an office filled with water. The water had a greenish cast to it. I hid in a place

no bigger than a bread box (1 foot x 1 foot), waiting for an enemy to go by. (960114)

=== Dream: "Le Gay Vampire" by Nutcracker ===

I knew my friend (Steven Weber/Wings) was dying and went to visit him. It was like an old

folks home for dying, gay, transvestite vampires. Before I got there, my friend (who was very

weak), had to have help getting dressed. He managed to fly up to this spot where another

DGTV was hanging and had him zip up his black satin spaghetti strap, floor length dress. He

then went back to bed, waiting to die. When I arrived, there was another DGTV worse off than

my friend. His skin was nearly gone from his bones and he was sitting in a tub, being sprayed

with milk, hoping it would replenish his skin. I got into bed with my friend and held him. "I

knew you would come," he said to me. I knew that he wanted me to stay but he knew that I

couldn't and didn't ask. (960114)

(COMMENTS: Am I me or am I a gay vampire also? I really have no sense of myself as a

male, female or otherwise in this dream, except that I go to visit a sick friend.)

=== Dream: "Hair Lost" by Nutcracker ===

I'm at a bar with some friends. It's got a staircase that has three levels. I was sitting on the

stairs watching the crowd through the railing when I felt something hairy by my side. I picked it

up. It was a hair extension. Then I found two more of them. They were the same length and

color as my hair. They were professional and of good quality; I could tell by the way they were

knotted on the ends. I set them down by my purse and went to get a drink. When I came back,

a friend of mine had taken the hair pieces and was wearing them. Then someone else mentioned

that Cindy Crawford was looking for them. I wanted them back (from my friend), but could

hardly go rip them off her head. I went downstairs and found a chair to sit in. I was watching

the crowd come and go when all of a sudden a group of Hispanics came in, more or less taking

over the place. Some of the women were taunting the other women already there. Once came

over to the woman sitting next to me and pulled the side of her blouse up, exposing rolls of fat.

How gross. And just what was the point of that? There was one white guy sitting near me. We

weren't friends, but I knew his name, Schoell Green. All of the Mexican women were drawn to

him, surrounding his table. He had a box of business cards with him. The cards were pale blue

and had a picture of a house trailer with shrubbery, the door was open and a pile of gold coins

was pouring out onto the ground. The coins and edge of the card were covered in gold glitter.

At the top of the card was a box to write in your name and phone number. He passed these out

to the women who filled them out and then returned them to him. Now what's going on? Is he

a gigolo? Or was he just hoping to get laid? I said, "Schoell, you've got to be kidding!"

(1/15/96)

=== Dream: "The Van" by Nutcracker ===

I left the house and went to get into the van. There I found a note tacked to the window from

the roofers. It said something about them paying for some damage they had done to it. I looked

for the damage but all I could see was a small dent. It was no big deal. Then I got in the van

only to find my husband in it (he works out of state) . "What are you doing here?" "I have a

few hours off," he said. As I pulled the van out of the driveway there was a woman and two

kids standing to one side (between my house and my neighbor's). They were looking at

something on the ground. I heard the woman say to the kids, "Look how cute he is." I stuck

my head out the window to see what she was talking about. At first all I could see was a trail of

wet leaves on the cement, as water rushed down between the grass and driveway. Then I saw

what they were looking at; a groundhog. For a split second I wondered if I could run him over

with the van and secondly, did I dare do it in front of the kids and traumatize them? (1/16/96)

=== Dream: "The Lottery Ticket" by Nutcracker ===

I had gone into a store to play the lottery. As I was filling out my card, some guy asked me for

my internet address (to fill in on his card). I looked at his card and said, "Put an .ix here. Now

put netcom.com over here. Before I knew it, I was filling the whole thing out for him. As I was

doing that, he walked out of the store, leaving his $60 ticket behind. Meanwhile, I couldn't

believe that I had left my purse lying on the table behind me, unattended. Luckily it was still

there, intact. (1/16/96)

=== Dream: "Place Your Bet" by Nutcracker ===

I had searched the WWW and had found a place to make bets online. I couldn't believe it was

this easy. A click here, a click there and I was done. The only problem I had placing the bet

was the ergonomic keyboard, which I wasn't used to. (1/16/96)

=== Dream: "Discombobulated" by Nutcracker ===

I was sitting on a street bench with my boyfriend (ex-fiancee). He gave me a gift. I opened it.

It was a cropped t-shirt that tied in front. There were angels on it and a multitude of other

assorted designs. I thought it was tacky, but said nothing. He was getting frisky and

anticipating his touch, I cringed. I feigned the need to use the bathroom and took a walk around

the block. As I leave I think about calling B. and begging him to take me back. After all, I

hadn't had sex with my boyfriend yet. As I walked, I heard a group of kids and a black woman

behind me wondering out loud where Ting-Ting's was. It was a store across the street in front

of us. They then spotted it. I had never been in it myself.

The windows were covered with black screen material, like you'd find on your house windows,

but you could still see some of the items on the shelves. As I made my way around the block I

saw a guy bend down to pick up a cat (his cat, I supposed). His hair looked like a domestic

tiger housecat's; stripped in various shades of grays, browns and black. The cat he picked up

looked just like his hair. Then he bent down for another cat. This one had rings of color around

his legs and body. I had never seen one colored like that before. There were three little girls

who appeared to be selling or giving the cats away. There were at least nine cats total. I decide

to stop at the apartment and use the back entrance. The wood on the door is peeling off in

layers. The place is a dive. In the hallway there are a bunch of guys planning a gang type war.

They're loading their guns, getting ready to fight. I leave and no one bothers me. I go over to

Ting-Ting's and discover a Pez display. There are a lot of Pez dispensers that I don't already

have, but I have no money on me to buy them. There were four different ones from the movie

"Beetlejuice" with their alter egos, so they really looked like two dispensers in one. Then there

was my favorite, a Mr. Peanut, whose peanut body was clear plastic with black hat and feet.

There was only one of him, so I hid him until I could come back and buy him. There were also

some McDonald's character Pez's. Something else I had never seen were some Pez space ship

candy. I went back to the apartment to get money, only I made a wrong turn and missed our

door. Now I have to hide because the war is starting. I run to the back of the hallway, which

looks like an attic with rafters. I find a cubbyhole to hide in even though it has no doors and I

am exposed if anyone should walk by. About five feet away from me I saw two kids hiding in a

hole in the wall. Then suddenly four well dressed black women came my way. They stopped

and peered in at me. I was silent but mouthed the words, "P L E A S E," and put my finger to

my lips for them to not let on that I was here. One of them walked a few feet to a wall and

knocked on a hidden door. It opened and an army of Mexican police came out, armed.

(1/17/96)

FOOD FOR THOUGHT ON DREAMING....gathered by Nutcracker

"People who insist on telling their dreams are among the terrors of the breakfast table." ~

Max Beerbohm

"Dreams say what they mean, but they don't say it in daytime language." ~ Gail Godwin

"Dreams are...illustrations from the book your soul is writing about you." ~ Marsha

Norman

"I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after and changed my ideas;

they've gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my

mind." ~ Emily Bronte

"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of

our lives." ~ William C. Dement

Enjoy!

========================================================

..and to all a good sleep and to all a good night! Until the next time, many dreams to all. -ED

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